This morning I had to stop by my church on the way in to work to sign the staff's paychecks. As the church treasurer, I'm one of a handful of people with the authority to sign checks and/or sell the church without the congregation's knowledge, if necessary. It still floors me that I have this responsibility. Every time I sign my pastor's paycheck I think someone somewhere must be ticking off an item on the apocalypse checklist. My wife won't even let me touch the checkbook, and not just because of the $40,000 "rainy day" fund she doesn't think I know about. I'm terrible at managing money. I bounced so many checks in college that for several years I couldn't even get a savings account. Do you know how irresponsible you have to be to not be able to open a savings account? Pretty freakin' irresponsible.
I know, you're probably thinking, "Dude, somebody could read this and get you booted off as treasurer." Well, here's hoping. Don't get me wrong: I'm glad to be of service; I just don't feel like I'm the right person for the job. But I guess if God can use M-m-moses to lead his p-p-p-people, then I guess I can be a church treasurer. (Oh, sure, you get the obscure "Happy Days" references, but I make an allusion to Moses' speech impediment and I get blank stares.)
Much of my discomfort with signing checks actually has to do with the fact that my signature is kind of embarrassing. I mean, it's like ridiculously bad. It looks like a three year old. No, not like the signature of a three-year-old; it's so bad that it actually looks like a drawing of a small child. Well, you can sort of make out an 'M,' and there's a semi-legible 'L,' but unfortunately neither of those letters is actually present in my name.
My signature is so bad because I try to write my name really fast, partly because it's boring to me since it always ends the same, but mostly because I'm trying to hide the fact that my handwriting, like my table manners, hasn't really progressed since the 4th grade. I blame my dreadful handwriting on the fact that I am left-handed, and the fact that like many left-handers I cleverly conceal this by turning my whole hand completely upside down while I write, so that the letters lean to the right, just like big people's, and I'm in excruciating pain. The result is cursive that looks just like it was written by a person's right hand. Assuming, of course, that the person in question is also left-handed. And probably drunk.
There is supposedly a hereditary element to handedness, but both of my children seem to be right-handed. I say "seem" because my daughter is still quite young, and my son seems to take after his mother, who is so uncoordinated with both hands that her claim to be "ambidextrous" rings somewhat hollow. It's just as well if they're right-handed, because being left handed is pretty tough. I take some consolation in the fact that there are studies indicating that left-handed people tend to be more creative than right-handed people, particularly in our use of power tools. But overall it's kind of a drag. Of course, it's not as bad as it used to be. Historically, left-handedness has been a sign of evil intentions. The word "sinister," in fact, comes from the Latin word for "left." Maybe I'll bring that up at the next finance committee meeting.
Technorati Tags: church, treasurer, left handed, sinister, handwriting
I know, you're probably thinking, "Dude, somebody could read this and get you booted off as treasurer." Well, here's hoping. Don't get me wrong: I'm glad to be of service; I just don't feel like I'm the right person for the job. But I guess if God can use M-m-moses to lead his p-p-p-people, then I guess I can be a church treasurer. (Oh, sure, you get the obscure "Happy Days" references, but I make an allusion to Moses' speech impediment and I get blank stares.)
Much of my discomfort with signing checks actually has to do with the fact that my signature is kind of embarrassing. I mean, it's like ridiculously bad. It looks like a three year old. No, not like the signature of a three-year-old; it's so bad that it actually looks like a drawing of a small child. Well, you can sort of make out an 'M,' and there's a semi-legible 'L,' but unfortunately neither of those letters is actually present in my name.
My signature is so bad because I try to write my name really fast, partly because it's boring to me since it always ends the same, but mostly because I'm trying to hide the fact that my handwriting, like my table manners, hasn't really progressed since the 4th grade. I blame my dreadful handwriting on the fact that I am left-handed, and the fact that like many left-handers I cleverly conceal this by turning my whole hand completely upside down while I write, so that the letters lean to the right, just like big people's, and I'm in excruciating pain. The result is cursive that looks just like it was written by a person's right hand. Assuming, of course, that the person in question is also left-handed. And probably drunk.
There is supposedly a hereditary element to handedness, but both of my children seem to be right-handed. I say "seem" because my daughter is still quite young, and my son seems to take after his mother, who is so uncoordinated with both hands that her claim to be "ambidextrous" rings somewhat hollow. It's just as well if they're right-handed, because being left handed is pretty tough. I take some consolation in the fact that there are studies indicating that left-handed people tend to be more creative than right-handed people, particularly in our use of power tools. But overall it's kind of a drag. Of course, it's not as bad as it used to be. Historically, left-handedness has been a sign of evil intentions. The word "sinister," in fact, comes from the Latin word for "left." Maybe I'll bring that up at the next finance committee meeting.
Technorati Tags: church, treasurer, left handed, sinister, handwriting
Labels: Christianity
| posted by Diesel at Friday, October 20, 2006 |
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It's much easier to do library inventory if you're left handed. Maybe you should become a traveling library inventory specialist...
Is that really true, or are you just trying to entice me with the boringest sounding job ever? Don't toy with me.
Nice kitty! Raaaahhhhr! :)
It's true. I actually conned the science teacher into doing inventory for me one year because she was left handed. It took her about 1/3 of the time it usually took me. I traded with her for sorting sets of legos....
Try not to envy my exciting life.
So left-handed people are also easily duped into doing mindless, repetitive tasks. I'll add this to my list of pros. Thanks. :)
Also on the plus side we lefties also apparrently die younger.
So that is fun!
I served as treasure for a year for a group I belonged to, I hated it. I am so not detail oriented and I don't do the family accounting unless absolutely necessary.
Both my kids are righties, so I am the sole sinister member of the family.
I did a post about left handedness earlier this month, the 6th I think. My horrible family keeps stealing my left handed scissors.
I never started doing that hooking around writing method but I still scrawl like a 4th grader, so while I might buy the left handedness as a good excuse, the angle doesn't work. My maiden name was 4 letters, I could handle that, my married name is 8 letters long but to compensate for the extended length you can still only read the first 4 letters of my name, and then only if you already know what it is.
Wow, this is a long comment
Is there such a thing as "detail-disoriented"? Because that's what I am. I'd write more but my hand hurts.
I am left-handed and my writing is horrible as well. In first grade when another kid pointed this out, the teacher said, "it's okay, he's left-handed." True story.