The other day as I was driving to work I happened to look over at the guy driving in the lane next to me and noticed that he was reading a magazine. Not checking a map, not glancing at an ad for male enhancement products, actually reading a magazine while he was driving. He had it it propped up on his steering wheel as if the manufacturer had intended it to be used as a handy reading stand. It makes you wonder why they don't put a little clip on the top of the steering wheel for holding your reading material, and maybe a little lamp in case it gets too dark to see clearly. I guess carmakers figure there's enough interesting stuff going on in the windshield and mirrors to keep your attention. It must take a serious case of ADD to be so bored with the imminent possibility of a ten car pile-up that you have to spice things up by perusing a magazine while hurtling down I-5. I hope it was Dismemberment and Disfigurement Monthly, because otherwise he's going to have some catching up to do when he gets out of the coma.
Despite the fact that everybody knows how stupid it is to drink and drive or to grab a downed power line with your bare hands, they still have public service announcements telling you not to do those things. Yet there are no PSAs warning against reading and driving. This prompts the question: How reckless and dangerous does something have to be for no one to have even thought of warning you not to do it? Congratulations, Bob, you've just vaulted into a completely new demographic of stupidity! It never even occurred to us to warn people not to do that. We'll add it to the list of future PSAs, right under "Don't stick Legos up your nose" and "Don't throw rocks at mountain lions."
I've even heard of people getting ticketed for watching TV while driving. I bet this happens more than you might think. And given all the niche cable networks that exist today, I imagine that the TV-watching driver demographic is probably large enough to support their own network. The Driver Network would be a big hit. They could play The Cannonball Run, Knight Rider, and all the latest police chases. And every once in a while they'd break in with a public service announcement that says, "Watch the road, you idiot!"
Despite the fact that everybody knows how stupid it is to drink and drive or to grab a downed power line with your bare hands, they still have public service announcements telling you not to do those things. Yet there are no PSAs warning against reading and driving. This prompts the question: How reckless and dangerous does something have to be for no one to have even thought of warning you not to do it? Congratulations, Bob, you've just vaulted into a completely new demographic of stupidity! It never even occurred to us to warn people not to do that. We'll add it to the list of future PSAs, right under "Don't stick Legos up your nose" and "Don't throw rocks at mountain lions."I've even heard of people getting ticketed for watching TV while driving. I bet this happens more than you might think. And given all the niche cable networks that exist today, I imagine that the TV-watching driver demographic is probably large enough to support their own network. The Driver Network would be a big hit. They could play The Cannonball Run, Knight Rider, and all the latest police chases. And every once in a while they'd break in with a public service announcement that says, "Watch the road, you idiot!"
Labels: Driving
| posted by Diesel at Thursday, November 09, 2006 |
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Before she had laser eye surgery, my friend Karen used to put on mascara while driving to work on I-40. She couldn't wear contacts, so she had to take off her glasses to put on the mascara. When she wore contacts (long time ago) her prescription was -16.
Cut the guy some slack -- he was reading ... and reading is fundamental! Shame on those drivers who watch TV while driving ... turn the damned TV off and pick up a book or magazine for the next 10 miles.
That's what this guy was doing and you're blasting him for it. Man, you are mean. (By the way, what in God's name are you doing glancing at male drivers? Is there something you're not telling us?)
...The French Connection, really the possibilites are endless.
As would the stream of PSA's saving us from our own stupidity (well not our - yours or mine) everybody else's!
Okay, gotta focus on the road, see you later.
Dan - I imagaine Diesel was admiring his hotrod.
Frightening though it may be, a good percentage of my fellow commuters each morning multi-task along the way. The New York Post is a favorite read on the West Side Highway...the Daily News and Times to a lessor extent. Truth be told I have been tempted, on occasion, to ask the car next to mine if I might borrow the sports section. For many, however, the commute is merely an extension of their morning grooming experience...shaving, makeup application, stuff like that.
Full disclosure: A number of years ago I had a small t.v. mounted in my glove compartment...don't tell anyone.
Robin - Yeah, but chicks can multitask. And if she's like some women I know, she probably looks like a car wreck without her makeup. (Kidding!) She didn't have the surgery while she was driving, did she?
Dan - I wan't glancing at him; I was checking him out. There's a difference.
G - In our area, we have PSAs featuring Splasher the Frog warning kids not to swim in canals. Is it just me, or is that a bad choice for a mascot? That's like the Forest Service using Pyro the Fire-Loving Bear.
Joel - You're making me feel better about California drivers. But worse about humanity in general.
Maybe he was reading the California Drivers Manual?
The people that scare me are those drivers who have to talk to their passengers with their hands, gesticulating wildly with both hands in the air while driving along the Interstate at 90 mph.
Reading is less hazardous than napping.
I have to commute to OSU on I-5 from Eugene (about 40 miles) sometimes and I have trained myself to look straight ahead and write down my lecture notes on a pad laying on the passenger's seat as ideas come to me.
I wish I could read them, though, when it was time to lecture.
the pad lays on the passenger seat, not me-- ha, bet I beat you to that comment, Snarky!
Tillerman - So they're all reading from the same manual! That's where they get these crazy ideas about how to drive. Thankfully most of the time I'm just zipping past them on the shoulder.
Tom - You're getting to be like a dog who jumps when he hears loud noises. I'm not *that* snarky, am I? :)
Look, Diesel, I asked you not to bring me up personally on your blog.
And there you go.
I was just reading a freaking magazine!
And we all know it was "Lawsuit Monthly", not "Dismemberment and Disfigurement".
I didn't collide with you! Well, not more than twice, and the insurance company settled. Chill, dude.
Please don't spread these horrible lies about me.
As for safety, my car Kitt does very well, even with his 4004 processor.
And Cannonball Run is a great film. Or so I'm told. So none of your snide hard-middle attacks on it.
Cheers,
-wolfe
"Dismemberment and Disfigurement Monthly"
Thanks for reminding me, I have to renew my subscription.
Hey, you created the moniker.
Actually, my introduction to your blog was your post entitled, "Bringing Snarky Back." The post was about how you made fun of people with snarky remarks and got into trouble over it.
Are you de-snarking?
Maybe I have PTSD, (Post Traumatic Snark Disorder) which causes me to jump like a dog at the sound of sarcasm! I'll seek therapy.
Wolfe - How can I stay mad at the guy who's putting my kids through college? Gimme a hug.
I seem to be stuck on a dangerous driving theme lately. Expect more tomorrow....
Drive-by - I got suckered into buying a lifetime subscription to Sudden Death weekly.
Tom - I'm not a signatory to the International DesnarkIficatiOn Treaty (IDIOT), and don't expect any unilateral snark reduction any time soon.
I bet he could sue the car manufacturer and the magazine publisher for not putting warnings on their products about not reading while driving.