So I started out with the intention of giving a shout-out to this guy, because the powers that be at the church associated with the Christian school where my wife teaches recently cancelled his Modesto show because he encourages people to engage in unseemly behavior such as the public confession of sins. I'd post more of my thoughts about this, but one thing about retiring at 36 is that you're very dependent on your wife's health insurance. So I'll stick with ripping on Galactic Invertebrates. In any case, it would be a little hypocritical for me to suddenly proclaim myself a big Brad Stine fan, as my initial reaction to hearing that a "Christian comedian" was going to be performing at the church was to roll my eyes so far back in my head that I could actually see my brain thinking about how lame that sounded. I know, I know. I'm sure that there are super-duper funny comedians who are Christians, just like there are great writers and musicians and lawyers and porn stars who are Christians. Well, probably not lawyers. Anyway, the problem is that when someone puts the adjective "Christian" in front of a noun, it's usually for the same reason that they resort to a modifying phrase like "your mother's." As in, "Aren't you going to try any of your mother's broccoli soup?" No matter how much that broccoli soup tastes like burnt tires, you can't say no to that question.
In other words, if I mention to you at a cocktail party that I'm a plumber, you can take that as an indication that I'd appreciate it if you would give me a call the next time your daugher flushes her My Little Pony down the toilet. If, however, I mention that I'm a Christian plumber, you can take it to mean that if you don't call me, then you're probably not much of a Christian yourself and My Little Pony is going to rot in septic hell for eternity, God bless you. It's a marketing gimmick. A lousy, cheap, cynical marketing gimmick.*
Don't tell me you're a "Christian" plumber/artist/comedian/writer/hitman. If I can't tell from the way you plumb/draw/joke/write/kill people, then it doesn't friggin' matter, ok? And if I can tell, then you've wasted both of our time telling me something I already knew. Just do your job.
The other thing that kills me about Brad Stine's Godmen concept is that despite being a supposed "alternative" to Promise Keepers, it suffers from the same problem. PK and GM are both about encouraging men to be "manly men," let loose their testosterone and reject the feminization that is turning American men into "nice guys." And how are they going to do that? Well, they're going to all get together and talk about their feelings, and hug each other, and get all weepy and shit. Give me a break with this already. You want to prove you're a real man? Go over to your mother-in-law's house for Sunday dinner and eat her broccoli soup and play nice with the family. If you still have your testicles when you get home, congratulations, you're a man. Now shut up and act like one.
*BTW I should note that Brad Stine's website refers to him as "America's Conservative Comedian," which is pretty dumb, but not nearly as offensive as "America's Christian Comedian" would be.
Labels: Christianity, Family
| posted by Diesel at Tuesday, January 02, 2007 |
|
Leave a comment! |
Is it just me, or does he look more than a little like Dennis Leary. Now there's a comedian...
"Preach the gospel. And if necessary, use words." (St. Francis of Assisi)
The true church is an invisible body. Not everything is as it seems.
Robin - He looks like the unholy offspring of Dennis Leary and Gerard Depardeu.
Joe - Exactly.
Your right Diesel, he does look like the unholy offspring of Dennis Leary and Gerard Depardieu. I had no idea they were even dating...I've got to read the tabloids more often.
By the way is it just me or does Modesto sound like the name of a feminine protection product? Never mind, I withdraw the question.
I have seen Stine perform twice now, and he could drop the "Christian" part of his description (or his publicist should) because he doesn't need it. He is flat out funny, no matter where you are spending eternity. He did a bit about Harry Potter. When the crowd started to cheer, thinking he was going to skewer the boy wizard, he paused and said that he was now going to make them all look foolish. He then proceded to tell of a church that was burning Rowling books. His take, "If your church is doing anything that the Nazis did, stop it".
On the point of a "Christian anything". One of the worst experiences I have ever had with a mechanic was a with a self-proclaimed "Christain Mechanic". I would rather my mechanic be going to hell; so long as he does the job right and for the price quoted. 'nuff said.
Well, Joe and St. Francis have rendered me speechless with appreciation.
This guy sounds like a riot though.
Drive-By - Are you insulting Modesto, home of Scott Peterson and Gary Condit? Yeah, I don't blame you.
John - I did read about him a bit, and he did have some good lines. I loved the "If Hitler did it, maybe go the other way" bit. I don't mean to be overly harsh on him; if they ever let him perform around here I'd love to go see him.
Candace - Maybe not a riot, but at least an unnanounced demonstration.
"Christian Comedian" sounds funny, makes me giggle a little, like "Jews for Jesus."
Haven't seen this guy's act...sounds interesting. Probably worth a see.
Every time I see a trade vehicle (plumber, electrician, carpet cleaner, tile setter, general contractor, etc.) with a Christian fish or cross anywhere on it, I make a mental note never to call that company or use their services. Putting symbols on one's work truck isn't the same as trying to follow Jesus' teachings. I want to pull these guys aside and say, "Don't TELL me what a big Christian you are. SHOW me in your actions!"
Wonder what reaction that would get? :-P
Ha! I think you are right about how to be a real manly man...good call!
Al - Behave or I'll turn this thing around.
Miss Kitty - I wouldn't go that far, but the fish symbol thing is a little...fishy. That symbol was originally used by Christians to identify themselves to each other during persecution by the Romans. I don't think that quite applies any more.
Cindra - Thanks. I'm so manly I can hardly stand myself sometimes.
Hmm. I wonder what he'd think of the George W. Bush buttplug ...
That reminds me, at a truck stop/Subway shop I frequent, they have a rack of "Guide to Christian Businesses." Sort of a yellow pages, except all the listings are "Christian" businesses, I gather.
I'm with you, Diesel. Act like you mean what you believe.
Never seen the comedian. I'd probably check him out, just to see how funny he is.
Before the hockey game here last month, they had the "Christian Comedy Tour" performing at the main entrance to the arena. I made sure to use the side entrance.
Apparently Mr. Stine is not alone out there in the world of Christian Comedy. Do you think they have a "two drink maximum" at those shows?
Malnurtured Snay - I'm happy to report that I had to google that to know WTF you were talking about. I'm ashamed to admit that I did google it.
Allen - That's so that Christians can avoid being tainted by contact with nonbelievers.
Pavel - Absolutely. I have nothing against the guy, per se. I admit to having a bias against people/things marketed as "Christian" whatever, but I'd definitely check out his act.
Joel - "Don't forget to pray for your waitresses!"
Hm, his oddly proportioned head frightens me a little.
Regarding the "Christian" tag as a sales ploy here is href="http://www.sockheaven.org/music/albums/meltdown/08.html">a song from my childhood about these things.
stupid fricking, blankety blank HTML!!
Figure it out, I give up
As a woman who has four brothers, two sons and a macho hubby, wimpy men creep me out.
Fish symbols are ok. I never really thought about them being a marketing ploy. Doh! How naive am I?
The only time I've ever been flipped off by another driver, it was by a lady driving a christianfish car.
thankfully, i lashed myself into my chair BEFORE i started to read, in hopes of not repeating that cumbersome/embarrassing "chair slide" laugh thing again. and it's worked. well, sort of. i laughed... i started to slide... the lashes held firm... then lo'! and behold! the chairwithmyasslashedtoit flipped over. man. i hate when that happens.
couldn't agree with you more about the "Christian" marketing gimmick -- or the fact that when i hear that term, more times than not, my mother's burnt broccoli soup is exactly what comes to mind. a person (or that soup) is either "good" or he/she (it) ain't.
by the way, the first time i ever "met" The Drive By Blogger was when he left a comment on a post i did lamenting the fact that Dennis Miller isn't very funny any more (the way he was, BBCR -- "before becoming a Conservative Republican) -- pointing out that there was no such thing as a funny Conservative comedian. that said, not ONCE did he mention Modesto in relation to feminine protection. coincidence? you tell me. xox
Logo - I think I found the song you're talking about:
So you need a new car? let your fingers take a walk
through the business guide for the "born again" flock
you'll be keeping all your money in the kingdom now
and you'll only drink milk from a Christian cow
don't you go casting your bread to keep the heathen well-fed
line Christian pockets instead--avoid temptation
guilty by association
Nice.
Claire - I don't think the fish is necessarily a marketing gimmick. It's not out of the question that someone is simply expressing their love for Jesus (in an albeit strange and arbitrary way). Usually though, I think it's to say "Hey, you can trust me, I'm a Christian!" or "We're both Christians, we should help each other out." Both of which motivations are lame.
Spookyrach - You must be a good driver. I've been flipped off by Catholics, Baptists, Muslims.... Hell, a Buddhist flipped me off the other day.
So can the people around you tell that you're a Christian by the way you talk and act? Just curious.
I like your definition of a man and a Christian. You are spot on, as usual.
Happy New Year.
Anonymous - I suppose you'd have to ask some people around me.
Goldennib - Thank you very much. Happy New Year!
Neva - Somehow I completely missed your comment. How is that possible? I think it was so long that I thought it was one of mine. :)
I still think Dennis Miller is pretty funny, but his Bush ass-kisssing routine got old real fast.
Christian comedy has to be better than the music. I just took a taxi to the airport, and the driver had a Christian station playing. It was the longest ride of my life. But the DJs were just smarmy-sounding. I was squirming. And I sing in a church choir. I have an extremely high tolerance for theological discussion. I can't imagine what it must be like for normal people. I'm guessing projectile vomiting occurred, and maybe some of them soiled themselves.
oh sure, mock me now -- after i write a perfectly lovely intro for your first post on the SNARK. i see how this works...
well put diesel-- I love the christian plumber example
Poppy - I wonder the same thing about such things: "If this is making ME squirm, what must it be like for a normal person?" And of course, there is great music written/performed by Christians, but I would agree that "Christian music," as a rule, blows.
Neva? Is that you? Your comment is so short, I can hardly believe it. ;)
Citymouse - My Little Pony and I thank you!
There are so many great things in this post, I don't even know where to begin. The part about being a man involves sucking it up, playing nice and slurpping mom's brocolli soup, though, was the best!
Mom always said that being in church made you a Christian like being in a garage made you a car. :o)
I have a supreme dislike of anyone who touts their "Christianity" or uses it for business purposes, too. Something about that just seems very antiChrist. MHO.
Shizzel, crap and damn, I misspelled broccoli. Whole language is one of the banes of my existence. Tell your teacher wife to help the kidlets out and teach them how to spell, would ya? (I'm surprised her benefits package includes medical. She must work for a Catholic school or something. :o)
Angela - I'm normally an excellent speller, but I had to ask my wife how to spell "broccoli". :)