Yes, it's that time again. Apparently a few of you were confused last time about how this works, so let me 'splain it to you, good and slow. Every two weeks I post a scene from a popular TV show or movie. I digitally insert myself into the picture (and no, "digitally insert" does not mean I stick my finger in it, Gawpo). So one of those sorry-ass lost souls below is me. I'm the one whose skin tone suggests I actually might have spent some time on a tropical island.
Your job is to come up with a suitable caption. Submit your caption(s) in the comments before midnight Monday, April 23. I'll pick my favorite ten and post them in a poll for you to vote on them. The winner takes home an autographed digital copy of the picture and possibly some leftover Dharma Potato Chips.
Good luck!
If you don't click on the humor-blogs.com link once every 108 minutes, my teeth will start to hurt.
Your job is to come up with a suitable caption. Submit your caption(s) in the comments before midnight Monday, April 23. I'll pick my favorite ten and post them in a poll for you to vote on them. The winner takes home an autographed digital copy of the picture and possibly some leftover Dharma Potato Chips.
Good luck!
If you don't click on the humor-blogs.com link once every 108 minutes, my teeth will start to hurt.
Labels: Caption Contest, Doctored Photos, TV
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Hurley sighed as he wondered if Jack and Diesel were going to mistake him for a roast beef sandwich.
Hurley: aaggh.. i thought these were thermo's full of soup.
Guys, I thought you told Fatty O'Plussize over there about Sunsilk's new Straighten Up! for 'kinky hair', now with a hint of Sunset Breeze Aroma? There is no WAY Tyra's gonna let this slide.
Diesel: "Don't worry, I was born to lead! By the way, have you seen my case of bullets?"
"Ok, guys. The note says: 'Inside one of these cans is hidden the key to your salvation - a knife. Inside one of YOU, is hidden the KEY - that starts a boat parked on the beach. Good luck.' Diesel, give me the gun."
Unbeknownst to the rest, inside Diesel's backpack was a stash of weed he'd discovered earlier. As God was his witness, he would never go hungry without being stoned again!
LOL, figures you would put yourself on Sayid´s body. Nice choice!
"Don't I look like a badass," thought Diesel, as he stared past the others in an egotistical daze.
Jack: "Diesel, this one says your character in this show ranks on spot 59, right after the imaginary horse and before the palmtree to the West-entrance! Give me the gun, I am supposed to kill you off!"
It says here to insert four AAA batteries, and then we can play Empty Shell Dodge Ball--"hours of fun for the whole family." Like I even have a Phillips screwdriver in my pack. Those bastards at Hasbro have taunted me my whole life.
I tried, I really did - just can't come up with a caption. I'm just sitting here laughing at the picture and the whole concept of this caption contest.
(Your blog is still pretty new to me...thanks for the laugh)
'I have the gun. Game over.'
"Diesel of The Matress Police performs his version of Message In A Bottle."
Love the LOST theme this week, Diesel!
(uh, make that Mattress Police)
"OH, now I get it... Diesel fitter! That is hilarious" thought Diesel, as he pondered the meaning of life, comedy and/or lunch.
The note says "you guys suck" and it's signed "MacGyver".
Ha! Good stuff, people.
Minka - For the record, that's MY body, except for the legs (and the hand holding the gun), which belong to Sawyer. I guess I must have done pretty good if you can't find the seams. :)
Keep 'em coming!
OMG....*thinking* I must win this. LOST is my favorite TV show. hhhmmm.....
Are you sure that's your body?
Nice pak! Back pak!
Bunch of Sickos.
How is it that you have a better tan than the rest of the cast on the island?
This post has been removed by the author.
All the capsules contain cryptic notes FROM Diesel leading the Losties to a boat for "freedom." Once back at square one, Diesel yells: "Sike!" much to their chagrin.
Oh great, it says we've been "yielded" by those bitches Dustin and Kandice.
Zoning - Ok, it's Sawyer's pack too.
really?
*looks for her magnifying glass*
Now that´s just a treat!
hurley has a flasback to the time in his former life whenhe knocked over the pringles display at the supermarket.
I'll try to distract Hurley, this is all the Cheese Whiz we've got. Keep that gun handy just in case.
you see, i dont watch lost so i have a problem doing something that would make any... oh well let's try this
"Gees... even with a gun no one takes me seriously"
Convinced that the island is the perfect location for his new fertility clinic, Diesel stands guard over his own, rather ample "contribution" to future generations.
That's a tad long for a caption...ain't it?
How do we know that's your real head? Maybe you've been using a pseudo head all this time! :0)
Okay kids, you've got one hour to clean up this mess or you're grounded...no fishing, no hiking, no playing with the Others.
Could one of you hold Jack up for a while? I'm cramping...
1. "I mean, sure, we've all had bad luck. But I had an aisle seat. The drink cart hit my elbow twice before we even went down."
2. "The ATM down on the beach charged me $5 just because it's not Citibank."
3. "Hey, let's stop killing each other and just hang out."
4. "Hey, do you think that if we used all these papers we could make a tetherball for this pole?"
5. "These aren't even clues, they're all filled with used toilet paper."
Here are a couple more:
1. For the sake of the goup, Diesel tried to maintain his heroic pose, growing ever more nervous as a swarm of angry fire ants crawled up his pantleg.
2. "Hey guys, it says here 'Click your heels together three times and repeat - There's no place like Central Snark, There's no place like Central Snark...'. Deisel, it looks like we're finally going home"
Jack finally took the time to read diesel's note warning him NOT to use Kate's spoon cause there was no telling where all it had been.
Nice gun Diesel, the AK look-alike isn't too shabby either. *wink*
Skul
LOL! and no, "digitally insert" does not mean I stick my finger in it, Gawpo!!! I had a feeling that was coming!
Okay, my caption submissions:
1) In this week's episode of Lost, the cast is transported into a chapter out of Lord of the Flies.
Piggy: “My auntie told me not to run on account of my asthma.”
Diesel: "Okay. Order is lost. I've crushed the conch. Now, let's get Piggy!"
2) Diesel: Wow, I look mighty fine in this outfit! Hmmm...I wonder what caption Pavel will come up with this week? Do you think my ass looks fat in these pants? Nah...I didn't think so either.
3) Diesel: I have now completed digital insertion. Muhahahahahaha!
LOL! Sorry for my lame attempts, Diesel. I'm just not very good at these caption contests! ;)
Sorry, typo on my last comment, it's Diesel not Deisel, duh. Well, here's another one to make up for it:)
Diesel tried hard to think, had he remembered to turn off the oven before he left?
Are we allowed to add on to our captions? I kinda forgot the rest of it.
Oh great, it says we've been "yielded" by those bitches Dustin and Kandice... Still, I don't think we're allowed to shoot 'em.
Here's a few more. These things just keep popping into my head, and if I don't get them out it might explode. Here goes:
1. Diesel thinks to himself, "Why didn't I make that pact with the Devil when I read Harry Potter?"
2. The note reads, "Earthlings, your planet will soon be demolished to make way for a hyperspace bypass. Any formal complaints must be presented before April 22, 2007 at your local planning office in Alpha Centauri."
3. Diesel thinks, "Why didn't I go to that party with Liz Hurley instead of getting on that plane to the Blogger's Choice Awards?"
4. Diesel: "Man, I had it all, I was even retired, and now I'm stuck here with this bunch of losers."
5. Diesel: "I knew that genie wasn't to be trusted. This was not what I had in mind when I wished for some new friends, a new toy, and a vacation on an exotic island."
6. Diesel: "What are my loyal minions going to do without my Caption Contests? I could just kill for a computer and a good fast internet connection."
"Hey Hugo, this one is for you. Delta is retroactively charging you for two seats."
i meant thermos'..
Diesel: "So tell me again, my friend - can you read a map, or can't you?"
diesel can barely control himself as he is inconspicuously intoxicated by the Axe body spray Jack is sporting.
Hurley’s feelings are hurt when he overhears diesel say “I’m going to shoot that mop headed biyatch if he keeps staring at my ample pack!”
"Guys! GUYS! You can stop looking. I found a note. Sez, 'Help. I am being held captive in a bank deposit slip cannister factory run by a man named D.B. Cooper. If you are reading this note, you are lost. Mr. Cooper is very dangerous. But funny. So I am not entirely opposed to continue hangin' with him. You will know Mr. Cooper because he not only carries a backpack (as we are all obviously required) but he also packs an AK-47.' Uh...I read that wrong. That should have read: "Packs are OK; I have forty-seven. Look at the time. I gotta run."
Oh, and by the way, as Mrs. Marcellus Wallace would say, "Digital insertions are my spess-see-ality."
So do I at least win in the longest caption category?
I got FAP'ed by my satellite internet provider. I am going to blog about it.
"OK, I don't get it. I'm the one with the freggin' gun here, and when I ask you for a stick of gum you brush me off. But, Oooohhh when Jack says "find the hidden immunity Idol", you guy dance all over the place for him!"
"Don't you guys get it? We're not in Survivor! Look, a gun! See! A GUN!"
"Don't make me pop a cap in your ass!"
"And Hurley. Why is it your still so freggin fat when we've been stranded for 8 month on this island??"
"And would somebody PLeaaaassse! Tell me where they keep the sun block?"
Diesel smiled in the knowledge his SBD would be blamed on Hurley, or, at the very least, Jack.
Diesel: "I'm gonna go sharpen a stick on both ends - who's with me? Except Hurley - you're not invited."
GS
Alright, one more:
Hurley: I'm pretty sure we could make elephants out of these bottles.
Glacial Spain
Of all the island and all the girls in the world! we had to get stuck with some hunchback bitch...sheez!
ninty nine bottles of beer on the wall can only be sung so long before the big guns are brought out!
"Man, oh man," Thought Diesel "This high powered rifle sure does make me feel better about my very small penis."
* Single-handedly, I have provided for us all by shooting this entire flock of inedible plastic tube-birds. Well, I WOULD'VE shot them if they had flown.
* Must. Not. Look. At. Hurley. The urge to discover if my fingers would just get STUCK in that bird's nest of "hair" is becoming unbearable ...
* DAMMIT. I was really hoping we'd find out where the lost SOCKS go. I don't even know what these things are CALLED.
I love your humor postings. I'm going to pass on this one. My brain's not functioning properly these days.
Right, I'm off hobbit-hunting.
Jack........promise me, if I ever start to look like Hurley...you will shoot me with this gun!
US President Tim Kalemkarian, US Senate Tim Kalemkarian, US House Tim Kalemkarian: best major candidate.
I can't. I just can't think of a thing. But, hello, Diesel!
1) What the hell are we going to do with an AK47 and 549 tennis balls? The note just says "Happy Hunting".
2) They knew their plans to build a boat from discarded pee bottles had failed when Diesel began to consider using Hurley as a sail.
3) Fu**, I wish MacGyver was here.
I don't understand.
Huh?
You know, I just can't think of a caption for this, Diesel. You're going to have to find some other damn island.
"Sigh...do I have to do everything around here?"
Oh wait...that's me trying to herd cats...er...kids...
I've never watched the show so I'm clueless.
Uh-oh. Looks like that mail boat had some precious cargo. Listen up: "Little Ronnie Grabenhorst writes, 'Sometimes I feel like a little girl, Casey, but when Jessica offered to give me her own heart for my much needed transplant, I just had to cry. So could you play 'Heart Light' and dedicate it to the best friend a boy could ever have?'"
There's a teller window somewhere missing a shitload of these whatever these are...
guy reading the note (because I don't watch this show and I don't know his name, okay?) anyway, from guy reading note:
"Love's me not!"
Oh good my teller-in-a-box kit finally came!
Somehow I thought I left a caption because well I feel compelled to throw my lampshade in the ring, but I didn't.
So here goes:
"The show's called LOST - wouldn't a map just ruin it?"
It's something.
Jack stared incredulously at the dry cleaning receipt for Diesel's way-to-clean-to-be-stranded-on-an-island t-shirt.
Diesel: This is no birthday present! Where are the smarties?