Mattress Police - Antisocial Commentary

Ok, folks. I've narrowed down the list of captions to ten. Vote for your favorite one. I'll post the results on Saturday. Thanks for participating, everybody!

The Finalists:

"You blinked."

"Did not."

"You so totally blinked."

"Did not."

"Did too. I just saw you. You blinked."

"Did not."

"My stare has remained unwavering. You, however, blinked."

"Did not."

"Hey, um, LOOK! There's a latex glove masquerading as a condom hanging on the wall behind us!"

"Is not."

- Jocelyn

"I see dead people. But then, I'm not a very good doctor."
- neva

"I don't like the looks of that hairline."
-Mr. Fabulous

For once, Diesel was grateful for his wife's bad taste in ties. Set against his equally hideous shirt, it created a distracting strobe, ensuring his victory in the staring contest.

- Not Karen

"Examine you?! House, they don't make latex gloves thick enough for me to examine you!"
- Pavel

House finds his antisocial soul mate in a chance encounter by the used condom dispenser.
- bice

"You wanna go, Vicodin Boy? 'Cause we'll go!"
- Robin

"You, House, are a very, very, very nice House. With two cats in the yard, life used to be so hard. Now everything is easy 'cuz I look like you."
- Gawpo

What the hell DID you expect somebody named "Diesel" to smell like?!?

- Joel Bezaire

Dr. Diesel: No, I'm not 'feeling very sleepy', and no I won't take off my pants!

- Candace

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Labels: Contests

Candace said...: I would like to vote for several of those. Do I need to move to Chicago in order to do so?; 9:04 PM
Curiosity.Killer said...: I gotta say, Jocelyn's was totally funny.; 10:28 PM
neva said...: well i, for one, am honored to be among so many fine and funny finalists. thank you for this shot at fame and glory, Diesel.

that said, i'm totally kicking myself for NOT offering up a caption based on my favorite episode of House -- which would have gone a little something like this:

"You found a tick in her WHAT?"

oh well -- maybe next time... xox; 4:56 AM
Anita said...: You're going to need a pretty big caption box for Jocelyn's, but I agree ... very funny.; 6:19 AM
furiousBall said...: Hmmmph; 6:25 AM
ThePapaDog said...: I voted for Jocelyn's as well, but not too sure if it follows the caption format.

Some funny stuff; 8:23 AM
Diesel said...: Well, I didn't specify any length limit, so Jocelyn's is fair game. I almost shortened it to an excerpt but I didn't want to violate the artistic integrity of the work.

Congrats to the finalists and thanks for voting, everybody!; 8:34 AM
Tammie Jean said...: Bice and Gawpo made me laugh out loud!

Great photo, Diesel!; 9:26 AM
Chrissy121875 said...: I voted. It was hard though, with so many good captions!; 9:39 AM
Logophile said...: Boy, it smells great in here today but I am soooo not eating anything after yesterday's warning.; 11:47 AM
Brad said...: *disgruntled but planning on dominating round 3*

Neva, go make us proud.; 11:51 AM
mindy said...: is that you with the house guy.. i didn't know that.. i call for a do-over on the contest!; 2:28 PM
MyUtopia said...: They were all so good! I love House; 2:53 PM
The Boob Lady said...: Dammit Diesel! You have to remind me about the picture posts! I'm at work all day and forgot about it. Some of my best material is now resting unused.; 7:56 PM
Gawpo said...: I'm just happy to have made the cut to "the next level." But I had to vote for Jocelyn. Candacia, of course, also killed. They are all some very funny entries. Keep this going when you can, Deese.; 9:15 PM
Anonymous said...: Diesel disinfranchized all my faux votes. Damn you Diesel. I demand to win. Well, I demand my choise wins. He even scratched my hanging chads!! That's it Diesel -- I'm gonna warm your sorry globe.

Skul; 11:21 PM
Random Ponderings said...: I too wish I could vote for more than one. EVEN THOUGH I'M SEETHINGLY BITTER!
Maybe you could do a 1st, 2nd and 3rd place announcement.
Not that I really care because I'm so incredibly BITTER!!!! >;0P; 6:56 AM
Pickled Olives said...: I pick Not Karen, but it won't let me pick it. I actually chuckled out loud when I read it.; 7:11 AM
Gregory said...: The rules of Humor require that I vote for Jocelyn, however, I'm at work and I don't have the plugin for the votey machine thingy.

So, I'll do it when I get home.; 6:33 PM
Diesel said...: It seems like several people have had trouble with the poll. Has anyone else been unable to vote or view the standings? If a lot of people are having trouble, I'll look into using a different system.

Mindy - I'm almost afraid to ask which of us you were confused about.

BTW, I know that you're all extremely disappointed that I never got around to posting anything yesterday. What can I say? Stuff happens. I'll post something tomorrow for sure.; 8:09 PM
Robin said...: I was wondering if these little 'caption contests' were your sneaky way of weaseling out of one of your promised days of posting...; 3:21 AM
Kat said...: You didn't post anything yesterday? Jeez, I'm more behind than I thought.... Jocelyn's caption cracked me up.; 6:07 AM

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