You did it! You convinced Mrs. Diesel to do a post! And to not kill me! Although she did say that the picture was "horrible." Anyway, without further ado here's my -- ahem -- sweetheart blogging about my favorite topic: me!
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Well, first let me say thanks for faking all that enthusiasm about having me post something. I know most of you probably died a little inside each time you forced yourself to leave yet another comment in the hopes of reaching 100. Your sacrifice doesn’t go unnoticed.
The most popular topic requests seem to be “What is Diesel really like?” and “How the heck do you put up with him all the time?” As for the first question, c’mon people! If you’re a faithful reader of this blog, you already know exactly what Diesel is like: really smart, a little self-centered, funnier than should be legal. He sees the humor in everything, which is a lot of fun. More than once he’s sent me into fits of giggles in church because of some comment or other. He takes perverse pleasure in doing that. The downside to this, of course, is that he can’t take anything seriously. When we went through a Lamaze class before Climber was born, he spent the whole time trying to make me laugh. When the instructor told everyone to choose a tranquil place to think about, Diesel leans over to me and whispers, “Racetrack.” All the other couples are obligingly going to their happy places while I’m giggling helplessly on the floor. I have lots of examples of that kind of stuff, but that’s enough for now. Suffice it to say that we can’t join any group where we’re supposed to discuss stuff seriously.
Another thing about this guy you know as Diesel is that he can’t remember anything. I’m not talking about important stuff like who directed Bladerunner or what was the name of the guy who coined the term “rock and roll.” Those things he remembers no problem. It’s the mundane things in life that he can’t keep track of. He posted once about my superhuman ability to remember where everything is, and he wasn’t exaggerating. That’s probably why we’re still married after 14 years—he wouldn’t be able to find shoes if I wasn’t around. But to be fair, I knew what I was getting into. On our first date we spent half an hour wandering around downtown
As for the second question, I was forced to develop a thick skin very early in our relationship. When we were dating, he never did the cutesy nickname thing. He’s never called me “babe” or “sweetheart” or anything remotely positive. He’s always called me the first thing that comes into his head, like “lumpy” or “squiggles”. I’ve chosen to find it endearing. His guiding principal in life is that if something is at least twice as funny as it is mean, then it’s okay to say. You suspected as much, right? Also, he has a hard time feigning interest in things he doesn’t care about. One time I was telling him a story about my day, and he told me I needed to "punch up the middle a bit." Make no mistake, living with Diesel isn’t always easy, but it’s never boring. So yeah, he can be kind of a jerk, but I’ve been cracking myself up writing this, so I guess I can’t complain. What are you going to do, I love the guy. Once in a while, though, I’d like him to take an interest in me rather than in this blog. I guess that’s what this whole thing was about. His attempt to show me he cares. Sweet, huh? Or maybe he could just buy me a nice piece of jewelry like normal husbands.
At least humor-blogs.com cares.
Labels: Anecdotes, Family, Mrs. Diesel
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LOL! Mrs. Diesel has a great sense of humour too! The two of you are an awesome pair.
BTW, the photo if Mrs. Diesel is lovely!
so, what do you think of his caption contests??
he seems very sweet. kind of like a lost puppy. :)
Mrs Diesel, loved your interview and thank you for giving in to him and putting him out of his misery... it has to be worth at least 2 carat diamond earrings.
Thank you, Mrs. D., for obliging the peanut gallery.
My wife sympathizes with the whole "pay more attention to me than to the blog" thing. Which is why I started updating my blog at work as much as possible.
...which would be hard for Diesel to do since he's unemployed.
The enthusiasm wasn't faked! Glad you posted.
Laughter, humour and "the giggles" are precious commodities - sounds like the two of you are a great match.
I love your photo...you are such a cutie!!
That was an awesome post and I think Diesel should hang with my Kylearyn, they seem quite similar minded lol. That pic is sweet - you've very natural and vital. natural pretty is so awesome these days!
Thank you Mrs. Diesel for your brilliant post. You're right, we already know what Diesel is like, we just had to make sure you really exist. Although, for all we know, the picture could be from some modeling catalog and Diesel could have written the post himself. I guess we'll just have to trust him on this one.
So, married 14 years? What a coincidence, my husband and I celebrated our 14th anniversary in December. He likes to make me laugh in church too (when we go) with comments about the "Elderly Virgins Choir" and stuff like that. He also needs me to find everything for him. Are you sure they're not related? Or maybe it's just part of male genetics.
Now tell Mr. Diesel to go out and buy you the biggest, most expensive diamond ring he can find. And please come back and do another post sometime.
I am satisfied that shoes were mentioned once. Although, I did notice that there was no mention of me. Strange.
See, now you've gone and demonstrated that you are funny and blogworthy as well. Of course you know that now you're going to have to make regular contributions.
However, I'm a little confused by your "take an interest in me rather than in this blog" comment. What exactly are you trying to say here?
Wait a minute, you expend paragraphs explaining all of Diesel's peculiarities, then you want him to act like a normal husband? I have a question -- what is a normal husband? Has anybody ever seen one?
Huzzah! The power of grassroots movements comes through again! Can we do this for our system of governments, too?
Great post, Mrs. Diesel. Worth the wait.
You keep her happy, Diesel, or your blog readers may turn on you.
That sounds threatening... I'll let you decide how to take it.
Awww, what a sweet post. And you're so beautiful, Mrs. D!
But admit it, Diesel, you were holding a gun to her head, weren't you? Or you promised to buy her some jewelry?
Kidding! Your household must be positively shaking with laughter on a daily basis.
Great post. I've read Diesels comments before but this is the first time I've been able to find his blog. Looks like I'll be coming back. :)
mrs. diesel we deeply appreciate your input on this whole thing.
i think you shoudl guest blog here regularly to to make sure yo uare getting fair representation. and we will do our part by reminding him periodically to buy you nice jewelry.
oh, and i can totally see the lamaze thing. the first time my limelet moved visibly in utero i said, 'oh look honey!' and he said, 'wow, cool. it's kinda like alien!'
Ah... yet another human being my wife can relate to.
Unfortunately, unlike you, Mrs. D, my wife has grown numb to my sense of humor. While others at the table may be blowing soda through their noses, my wife is chatting with the waitress or digging through her purse for a pistol.
She claims monumental hardship for living with me - so I give you kudos for embracing your fate and supporting your mate in posting for us.
Oh, and the picture? Nice.
Blogues puts all the MADELEINE photo in yours, a girl of 4 years of age that was abducted in day 2 in the Beach of the Light, in the Algarve, Portugal. They send the image of MADELEINE to all blogues of Morocco, Tunisia and Argel, thanks a lot
OK, one can remember important stuff (like, who wrote the novel that "Blade Runner" was based on) or one can remember mundane stuff (why did I come in this room). Obviously, Diesel married you because you remember the mundane stuff, so y'all fit together nicely. He also probably married you because you're gorgeous, but I don't know about his eyesight. Anyway, I know you've both got a tremendous sense of humor because while you can fake being serious, you can't fake being funny.
You WILL be coming back to visit every now and then, won't you? Or do we have to run the "Hundred Comment Gauntlet" again?
Dear Mrs. Diesel:
You, my dear, do not disappoint. Not that I thought you would! Far from it. You exceed every and/or all expectations -- reinforcing my belief that Diesel did, indeed, marry well. Better than "well". So much better than "well", in fact, it can only be described as "Holy Cow, how did that guy snag such a wonderful/beautiful/charming woman?" I mean that as a great-big-humongous compliment -- as your unofficial Crazy Aunt, I'm allowed my quirky observations... at least I think I am. I'll have to check the handbook.
Uh... since my handbook is at the cleaner's, er, um, I'll leave it at this. Or that. Whatever. This was a FABULOUS post -- and I hope it's the first of many!
*claps*
(this, by the way, will be the last time i endeavor to properly capitalize and/or punctuate a comment. if lower case is good enough for your hubby, it should be good enough for you!) ; )
PS: yes... he should most definitley be giving you jewelry. altho', based on a few observations, i'm thinking anything you get will be made out of macaroni and/or dirt clods.
Mrs. Deisel lives! So, what do you think about being in a caption contest Mrs. Deisel? Or better yet, perhaps you should have some fun with your husband and pick a photo of him you would like us to caption - in a tv/film setting or not!
:-)
Nice to blog-meet you!
It's male genetics. When my sons ask where something is, I simply reply, "Well, let's consult the radar implanted in my uterus, shall we?" It's disturbing how often the object du jour is just beyond their middle gaze.
Slackers both, but I love 'em.
To "aphorize": Those who think outside the box tend to park outside the lines.
Fourteen years. 1-4. Four-teen... You're obviously much less high strung than me, Mrs. D., because there were times in college when living with Mr. Sunshine drove me nuts.
Great post!
Thanks for confirming our suspicions, Mrs. Diesel. And yes, I do believe you deserve a really nice piece of jewelry.
"Punch up the middle a bit." Oh my god!
Good thing they're cute--husbands that is.
Ah Mrs. Diesel, so happy that you caved. And speaking as an Adjutant Inspector, your portrayal about fits what comes across here. You two sound perfectly matched and the "racetrack" anecdote is pretty darn funny.
I look forward to any future nuggest that you throw out here - this one was as refreshing and lovely as your pic! I was going to throw in funny, but then that wouldn't be a very nice compliment of your photo.
Oh and next time Diesel tells you to "punch up the middle" - maybe you should punch up his middle! :)
I hope that Mrs. Noisewater is as cool as Mrs. Diesel, although Mrs. Noisewater needs to be assembled from dead, human body parts, then I need to put some bolts in her kneck, and then bring her to life with a bolt of lightning. Then she'll be awesome.
yes, he needs to give you jewelry. I'm am glad to see he let you out of that other picture so you could get some fresh air.
Laughter is vetty, vetty important...It's awesome you guys have it. :)
<== hopes to look like Mrs. Diesel after 14 years of marriage.
Great post, but, uh, if you think "normal" husbands buy their wives jewlery, guess again- that's just what Jewlery commercials WANT you to think!!
My husband did the dishes this weekend and he treats me gently and wonderfully- I am "over-the-top" happy with that! None of this fairy-tale-land jewlery stuff! LOL!
You're a real sweetie, Mrs. D.
Not to be a stickler, but it's kind of traditional for the blogger's significant other to provide topless photos on their first post.
GEEZ! This work thing is really getting in the way of my blogging! I popped on real quick in the morning to write you a nice comment, (there were only 3 at the time) and decided to come back after work to post it when I had some piece and quiet. Everyone already commented all of the nice things I was going to say about you.
Now I have to come up with something else.
Well aside from the obvious, that you are STUNNING!!!!.... You are definitely someone I could hang out with. My husband has all of the same qualities yours does including not focusing enough on me. This is exactly why I started blogging. You get to meet so many cool people and talk to them everyday, and you no longer feel lonely! (not that I’m saying you do).
May I suggest you start your own blog because it will kill 2 birds with one stone;
You'll have yet another cool thing in common with your hub,
and you'll get to know a ton of new people.
I don't know if it will help you with the jewelry unless you post something that makes him feel severely guilty after you gather 100 comments from other bloggers which will hopefully have him racing out to buy you some SWEET BLING!!!! Then you can come back and post us pictures of said “score”. (I never get jewelry either. After 15 years you’d think they’d learn).
So come back and guest post or start your own blog. We look forward to future posts and a new friend!
Great post! You look great!
You could do a lot worse! I think he's dreamy!
Thanks for all your support and demands for jewelry, everyone. This was more fun than I thought it would be.
*Mindy--I LOVE the caption contests! The North by Northwest scene was actually my idea, not that Diesel will admit it.
*Keith--when we were newlyweds I asked Diesel if he would still be funny when we were old, and he said, "Yes, but you won't think it's funny anymore."
*Glacial--I forgot about Mr. Sunshine! Yeah, that sounds about right.
*tfg--LMAO!! (and nice try)
*Mr. Fabulous--and he smells good, too!
Nice post Mrs. Diesel. I know why you don't have your own blog. You don't have time! You have two small children and perhaps a big one to keep track of. BTDT. It would be good if you could occasionally grace us all with a guest post. Agree with all who said some jewelry ought to be coming your way!
You know on Cheers, we never saw "Vera" or "Maris" on Frazier? You are real now, not just a name.
Nice photo. (I hate pictures of myself, too.)
Thanks for sharing.
You make a great couple!
Normal is overrated! It certainly sounds like there is never a dull moment around your house!
Mr. Mayhem has made a few rumblings about my time spent blogging.....to which I reply, "It's better that going to the club!' hee-hee
I think the picture is nice....LOVE the hat! I have one very similar!
You won a 3 way quote of the day on my blog.
Man, I never get 42 comments. I think I'm going to try that topless thing.
Behind every funny man is a patient woman ~Confusious.
Sorry I didn't get to beg you to post, my parents rolled into town and have seriously cut into my computer time. I can, however, beg you to post again???
He couldn't find his car? Really? Where'd he find it?
Thanks for posting, Mrs. Diesel. I, for one, say that you should write regular posts.
a fountain of useless information with zero memory recall.
boy, diesel and i have plenty in common.
good luck with a 100 comments for this post :)
hey everyone *comment orgy*
first, your wife is gorgeous and you are a lucky guy.
second, thanks for dropping by my blog.
:D
Thank you, that was excellent! I think you ought to do a regular spot here, it could be like "point-counterpoint."
Mrs. Diesel ~ now that you've dipped your lovely big toe into the community Blogging pool... puh-leeeese come by THE SNARK and see what your fine (and please dear G*d not topless) hubby has offered up to our minions. come to think of it, please come by and BE a minion. or a guest poster. or a "poster girl" -- topless and/or otherwise... i'm guessing an appearance by you would help boost readership and/or morale quite a bit. (that's what happens when teh Penguin shows up!)
anyway -- we'd lovelovelove to see your beautiful happy face (and/or wet toe) over there... even if it's only to show a sign (or "sigh", as i just mistyped) of support for that Diesel! xox
Wow, how'd a good looking girl like you marry an ugly guy like that?
;)
With that cowboy hat, has he ever told you how he can't quit you?
Mrs. Diesel,
Thank you so very much for agreeing to post, its good to see all that comment whoring on Diesel's part was not for nothing.
You should definitely post more often, it's a fun read and serves as a nice counterpoint to that other person who posts here. Next time though, more about you.
BTW, it was nice of him to warn you.
Oh, Mrs Diesel,
My poor hubby sure sympathises with you on the blogging front.. I frequently fall asleep over my laptop.. my kids HIDE it, when my back is turned! (I jest you not.)
You should start one of your own, if you can't beat 'em.. (You've already proved you can write.)
Lovely post, thanks for a great read.
awwwww!!!!
hey you seem quite compatiable in more than one sense
Best wishes & luck to you both! :)
Just wanting to add to the commentary. I am a recent follower of this blog (help me please) and like others I find your post entertaining. As for your pic, you are a rather nice looking lady and your boy is lucky to have you.
Later
G
"They" call my sweetie Poor Bill. Should "they" call you Poor Mrs. D??? You seem too kind.
I think he should still buy a piece of jewelry of your choice for blogging.
But that's so cute he makes you laugh -- it's important for a long lasting relationship... jewelries can be lost or stolen, but not your, *cough*, LOVE.
Cheesey, I know... but c'est amour!
Canæt believe I am late to this...and with me leaving about 10 of them comments :)
I am glad you did, I was actually curious and I think since Dieel is so much on his many blogs, sometime sit is important for you to be involved. He´s well liked in some places and i feel on occasion you need to show your picture aorund here and remind his readership:)
Say, a post twice a month? I could get used to that :)
Mrs. Diesel, I think we're going to want to hear from you more often! What a great start to a relationship: "where's my car?" One thing's for sure though, Mr. Diesel will never probably never wander around a parking lot looking for his blog. Seriously though laughter is so important in a relationship. Glad you have it!
I say my dear, you have lots of tolerance! Diesel's a lucky dude! At least we now know more about what we're dealing with! Mahalo for confirming our worst suspicions! :-)