The Blog-Blond has tagged me with an education-related meme. The thing about memes is that they have rules, and the thing about rules is that they don't apply to me. So I may have slightly embellished a few of my answers. Enjoy.
What was the name of the teacher that was most influential in your life from grades K through 6?
Valdyrre the Magnificent. It was during the time of the Shadows, when the great gray-green tentacles of the horgauths tainted the land with their sickly sweet secretions. The only hope for the kingdom of Zumvalia was the semi-legendary Order of the Sparkly Razors. "Semi-legendary" because until that spring they existed only in the imagination of a confused old man, a man I knew as Valdyrre the Magnificent, or sometimes just "Ted." He trained me in the Ways of the Sparkly Razors, an art as old as Valdyrre's sandwich. "Don't eat that," we'd say. And he would just laugh, and die. There will never be another like him, thank the Hoary Lords of the Seven Unimpressive Hills.
What subject did you favor in high school?
Other than the Ways of the Sparkly Razors, I enjoyed the dark art of avimetrification, which is the measuring of the distance between pigeons.
Did you attend a university and if so did you attain a degree?
I spent seven years at the Mahalamahavatamadatam academy, the first six of which were spent trying to find the door. Once inside, I rotated slowly, gradually attaining all possible degrees. I was eventually released on my own recognizance, having exhausted the recognizance of several others.
Do you learn best through books, by watching, or hands-on?
It depends what I am learning. I learned to read books mostly by watching television. Learning to smell ghosts, of course, required a more nuanced approach. Generally, however, when I really want to learn something I seek out an expert in that field and attempt to learn by osmosis. Literally, I try to suck knowledge out of the expert's brain by putting my brain right next to theirs. When that fails (as it has every time so far), I hit the expert on the head with a hammer and move on to something else.
Has education been an ongoing process for you? How do you feel about that?
I pride myself on learning one new fact a day, keeping pace with my arduous forgetting schedule. I feel okay about it right now, but that could change. Every day is an adventure. A tiresome, confusing adventure.
What seven people are you tagging to do this?
1. Ann Boleyn
2. Deborah Harry
3. Tigger
4. Darth Maul
5.033.412 John Dewey
6. The entire cast of What's Happenin!
7. Valdyrre the Magnificent (May the Hoary Lords rest his soul)
May the great gray-green tentacles of humor-blogs.com grace you with their sickly sweet secretions.
What was the name of the teacher that was most influential in your life from grades K through 6?
Valdyrre the Magnificent. It was during the time of the Shadows, when the great gray-green tentacles of the horgauths tainted the land with their sickly sweet secretions. The only hope for the kingdom of Zumvalia was the semi-legendary Order of the Sparkly Razors. "Semi-legendary" because until that spring they existed only in the imagination of a confused old man, a man I knew as Valdyrre the Magnificent, or sometimes just "Ted." He trained me in the Ways of the Sparkly Razors, an art as old as Valdyrre's sandwich. "Don't eat that," we'd say. And he would just laugh, and die. There will never be another like him, thank the Hoary Lords of the Seven Unimpressive Hills.
What subject did you favor in high school?
Other than the Ways of the Sparkly Razors, I enjoyed the dark art of avimetrification, which is the measuring of the distance between pigeons.
Did you attend a university and if so did you attain a degree?
I spent seven years at the Mahalamahavatamadatam academy, the first six of which were spent trying to find the door. Once inside, I rotated slowly, gradually attaining all possible degrees. I was eventually released on my own recognizance, having exhausted the recognizance of several others.
Do you learn best through books, by watching, or hands-on?
It depends what I am learning. I learned to read books mostly by watching television. Learning to smell ghosts, of course, required a more nuanced approach. Generally, however, when I really want to learn something I seek out an expert in that field and attempt to learn by osmosis. Literally, I try to suck knowledge out of the expert's brain by putting my brain right next to theirs. When that fails (as it has every time so far), I hit the expert on the head with a hammer and move on to something else.
Has education been an ongoing process for you? How do you feel about that?
I pride myself on learning one new fact a day, keeping pace with my arduous forgetting schedule. I feel okay about it right now, but that could change. Every day is an adventure. A tiresome, confusing adventure.
What seven people are you tagging to do this?
1. Ann Boleyn
2. Deborah Harry
3. Tigger
4. Darth Maul
5.033.412 John Dewey
6. The entire cast of What's Happenin!
7. Valdyrre the Magnificent (May the Hoary Lords rest his soul)
May the great gray-green tentacles of humor-blogs.com grace you with their sickly sweet secretions.
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360 degrees, eh? color me covered in gray-green tentacles... and impressed.
memorable meme, Asparagus Boy -- i'm sure somewhere, Valdyrre is stroking his long beard and thinking "Diesel, the pantyhose inspector? Ah yes, I taught him well." ; )
How dare you profane the secret Ways of the Sparkly Razors by even alluding to the existence of the Sacred Strop? I am making a formal complaint to the Ever-Vigilant Edge of Keen and Clean and will recommend that you immediately be demoted from your current lofty position as Chief Pilot of the Depilifier to a more appropriate position as Assistant Foam Taster.
Did you mean to tag a Non-English Germanic Language Encyclopedia dealing with Northeastern Scotland?
You do realize I have a Dewey Decimal Classification (edition 14) manual close at hand, don't you?
Golly, I didn't realize we had attended the same school!
I will never forget looking out over the Seven Unimpressive hills and wishing death upon Valdyrre the Magnificent, that bastard.
Well, this certainly explains quite a bit...
Tigger's cute!!
huh! same way I got MY degrees!
right on
Dude, don't bother with Debby Harry. Bitch hasn't returned my calls for the past 5 years.
What's Happenin!
Oh, mercy. Plucked out of sweet, sweet obscurity. I could feel the obscurity coming on when I was nine years old.
Awesome.
So, what fact did you learn today? Was it that having an overactive imagination such as yours, makes writing posts like this as easy as spoonasality (the art of dangling a spoon from the tip of your nose)? Or was it that when you hit an expert over the head, they eventually come after you, or come to haunt you in any case? As Blackadder would say "Please allow me to offer my most enthusiastic
contrafibularities" on your post. "I shall return interfrastically" for more hilariosity.
Did your parents ever have your house tested for carbon monoxide?
"...keeping pace with my arduous forgetting schedule." Why do I relate to THAT so well? Yikes, it is frightening how much information runs in one neuron and out another into the ether never to be pondered by the likes of me again.
I fell out of my high chair when I was younger.
So you had Valdyrre the Magnificent too?! Remember when Shirm of the anti-odor order substituted? I sure PITied him. Alas, I failed on the final test; it was the 4th unimpressive hill that did me in...
I honestly don't think a person can be any more funny than you are. I'm in tears. Especially over "being released on my own recognizance, having exhausted the recognizance of several others."
You remind me very much of my ex husband. While I realize that is not an entirely nice thing to say, I can relate to your wife, and all other women who are married to comedians. You are surely not just like my ex husband, as there is a special hell prepared for him. Unfortunately, it's in heaven.
It's my firm belief that you could post your grocery list and I would laugh until I threw up a little.
Oh, that was you? I remember the funny 1st year who couldn't find the doors!! After three years there, I transferred to Hogwarts. I didn't have to find the doors there. I was pointed in the right directions by moving stairs or was it the talking pictures?
"The entire cast of What's Happenin!"
I think you're gonna need to hold a seance to reach some of those people.
By the way, I was tagged for that meme...but I didn't do it. Do you she'll whip me? Ah, I should be so lucky.
I hope Ann doesn't let your tagging go to her head.
You think I could transfer and get a job there? Any leads you could offer me D?
Hey, and if you are in town in a few weeks, you better let me buy you a beer or at least let me meet the infamous Diesel.
You are one weird dude. :)
Neva - No, he's dead, so I don't think so.
Jami - Mmmmmmm, foam.
Robin - Er, yes, that's exactly who I meant to tag.
Logo - I too remember looking out at the Seven Unimpressive Hills at sunrise on a crisp winter's day, and thinking, "ehh."
Susan - Really? Maybe I should re-read it.
Joel - And quite a character.
Bluepaintred - You know, my wife just pointed out to me the other day that your name isn't "Bluepaintedred." I must have read that wrong 30 times.
Andy - I was going to make a reference to a Blondie song in response, and then I realized that's probably what you were doing. Subtle, dude.
Tina - I could have gone for the more obvious choice, Good Times, but What's Happenin! seemed funnier.
Theresa - The point of hitting them with the hammer is to even the score by making them as dumb as me.
Harmonica Man - Periodically, yes. And every time they would up the dosage.
Claire - It's like the time Homer Simpson took the home winemaking course and forgot how to drive.
Papadog - Younger... like last week?
Variant E - Didn't you learn the song that goes along with the Seven Unimpressive Hills? It went Seven Unimpressive Hills, Seven Unimpressive Hills,Seven Unimpressive Hills, something something something, Seven Unimpressive Hills. It probably would have helped on the test.
Cathouse Teri - Thank you very much. I find there's a fine line between humor and absolute nonsense.
Sher - Thanks! Can I use that as an endorsement?
Shari - Now that's just silly.
TDB - I think I may have been the only one to do it. I'm actually hoping it encourages more people to tag me.
Candace - Ha! I actually had to think about that one.
Wreckless - I have no idea what my schedule is going to be like, but it would be great to get a beer sometime.
Sandi - So I've heard. :)
LOL, I love your tagged list.
Have you ever heard of Harry Potter? He's this kid who is some kind of wizard. I know - crazy. But you kinda sound like him. And you have glasses like him. :)
You still didn't tell us what you learned today, don't try to squirm your way out of answering.
This is about the best meme ever. I particularly like your answer on education. In a way, I may be cut out for it what with my own arduous forgetting schedule.
One funny meme.