That's me with what's-his-name, for those of you who aren't familiar with the concept. Submit your caption in the comments by Monday night. Mrs. Diesel will pick her favorites and I'll post them in a poll on Tuesday for you to vote on. Winner receives an autographed digital copy of the picture and a fleeting sense that you may have found your purpose in life.
Have fun, and good luck to each and every one of you!
Listed on humor-blogs.com.
Labels: Movies
 Stumble it!
|
 Digg it!
|
 
|
Leave a comment! |
Remember this: you are palying a kid, not some ne'er do well Brit who shags every girl who doesn't scream out "Oh, Harry Potter, you snog me so well" in the throes of passion. And... ACTION!
I promise after we get the shot, we can trade places and you can lick me!
What's with you going on stage naked with the horse? I thought that was supposed to be our secret!
For the last time, stop trying to tell me you're not Elijah Wood. I'm not fooled.
Look - there's my phone number! Remember it! I don't want to hear that you forgot it again! Call me!
You coulda had a V-8!
No, Fonzie does NOT know we're using the "Happy Days" clapper and don't you tell him!
You tell me who changed the clapboard to read "Happy Days" right now, or I'm sending those pictures of you and Hagrid to the Enquirer!
Now you keep your clothes on, you cheeky monkey. This isn't Equus.
I command thee, in the name and by power of the real presence of Our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament, to depart instantly!
"Now This time I want you to think, 'clown', 'happiness', got it?"
Dont' look now, but I must shield you for the creepy John Mayer guy who is giving you the eye.
"How many times do I have to tell you, Harry? It's "Forehead Bumper, Eye Winker, Tom THINKER"... boy wizard my ass, more like idiot wizard savant."
When I say "cut!" I'm referring to the scene!
I cast ye out satan! Be heeealed! AMEN!
No more soup for you Mr. Potter. Now TALK to the hand!
Eyes up Horny Potter! If you keep checking out Hermione's jugs we're gonna be here all night!
NO ONE WANTS TO SEE YOUR HARRY BLOTTER!!!!
Now look! If you can't do the chin-up on a LEVEL bar, you're out of the picture. Now show me some level, kid. Sell me. Okay, people, PLACES!
"Got your nose!"
"Use the mousse! I can't keep coming over here and brushing the hair out of your eyes!"
I told you, boy, Lady Liberty don't like your British magic.
Pull my finger.
The great director Diesel von Stroheim knew how to motivate his actors:
"Just ask anyone on this set, Radcliffe...I will pimp slap you! "
Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten! A KITTEN, Daniel... a kitten.
"You'd better lift your game, Radcliffe, or I'll see to it you never earn millions of pounds in this town again!"
Ya know Harry, I just cant figure it out? You, me, Dumbledore......we all have these super powers, but we have to wear glasses?
By the way. Why don't you get the photochromic lenses like mine?
Drugs are bad, mmkay.
Tell me what I want to know or I'll pat you on the head and call you cute again!!
now remember, this time you keep yoru clothes on...this is not that tawdry london stage production.
ok, i didn't read the other submissions until after i posted that...nevermind...hahaha
Two more movies; just two more then you're killed off--or not--but just two more movies so get it right
"ONE more crack about "diesel fitters", boy, and I swear I'm gonna rip out your hair, and shove it down your scrawny throat."
"My god, that Diesel is magnificent", thought the smitten lad.
I know Hermoine is kind of dowdy but give the girl a chance!
In don't care if "she wanted it". Stay away from my damn wife.
Now, now, don't have a hissy fit just because all the girls are screaming for that Cedric boy. He's gonna die in the movie, my pretty. So hush.
"The power of Christ compels you...the power of Christ compels you!"
If you screw up this scene ONE MORE TIME, young man, I'll do more than thump you in the head ... I'll have you replaced by that glowering extra from Star Trek behind you!
Make me do another take, and I'll go Voldemort on your ass, boy!
"I don't care if you ARE now twenty-eight, you're going to get on that broomstick NOW!"
"A KITTEN, Daniel....a kitten."
Oh, lord, that's good. I want to clock Crazy Aunt Bea with a fireplace tool, drag her body behind a curtain* and claim that caption for my own.
*Um...hello, Crazy Aunt Bea. I mean a tiny fake cardboard fireplace tool.
Diesel: What I'm trying to say is that I want you to be shorter in this scene, right? But also taller.
see, the lightning bolt on my hand matches the one on your forehead.
Look, I think this scene should be funny. The people want Harry Potter to be a comedy. Now do it again only throw some Diesel into it.
How many times must I tell you to respect your elders. Now get down from there and go play.
"I told you to put on that Mattress Police shirt before the scene!"
"You think this is hard work? Try writing humor while it's 115 degrees in the shade. No, walk in my shoes for awhile buddy."
Diesel: Don't glower at me you cash cow.
Harry Potter ... What can I say about that ... it's not even that I'm averse to reading children's books as an adult... I just never managed to get into all that "thang" ... caption ... o i know:
"If you thought you were gonna crap yer pants why didn't you ask for some Imodium?"
how's that?
Hey how's it going ~?? You're in my links now at long last I've been updating them bigtime, so big congrats. Hope all's well with you. I'm ok, not much to tell, troubles at home ... ok take it e.z.
gleds
LOL. harmonica man must have seen the full monty.
(I know, not a caption. NSFW. Just a commentary.)
Diesel: Enough with the Strong Man gag already. I KNOW the statue's only styrofoam, but we need it to LOOK heavy Dammit!
Diesel: "Toying with Death's scythe again, aye, Harry? How many times do I have to tell you most accidents happen at home?"
Roll your eyes at me one more time, kid, and I'll gouge them out with that toy you're playing with.
Tina and Glacial Scythe have me laughing.
Diesel directs:
"You say 'One for the money' and then give me sassy jazz hands. Then, directly into Camera Two, give us a 'Two to go' followed by a step-ball-change. Quickly, then, everso quickly, rapid fire out 'Three to get ready/Four to go' while hopping on your broom and leaning in front of the blue screen as though flying onto the field. This Buzzby Berkley-like Quidditch match finale will have audiences lining up for next year's Harry Potter Follies weeks ahead of time."
Wow. That was really labored.
Au Contraire...first who smelt it dealt it.
.....
No, I don't have any idea why the clapper says 'Happy Days'.
...
I believe you just blinked Harry.
Diesel: Remember, Harry Potter's a teenager!! Act a wee bit more moony over Cho. Let's try it again. And stop with the wisecracks. We are not making a "Blooper Show".
Come on, we got two more movies to make before you look too old to play the part.
Okay, people, from the top...
Now listen to me you little bratty punk. Those Jupitor T Shirts ARE funny and you're going to buy one. And if I have to leave blogdome and come by the set in person one more time, Voldemort will be the least of your worries.
I suck at captions, but I love the photoshopping. Fabulous!!
See that hand there? It's gonna slap yer scar clean off if you don't keep you-know-who in the pants.
Skul
Your hair is SO soft! No, hold it right there, mister! There will not be even ONE. MORE. TAKE ... until you tell me what kind of conditioner you use!
Not funny? Are you kidding me? Robin Williams kills with this TV preacher routine.
You know the rules, Harry. You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose...
My mom made this sweater for me, so you just shut up!
I don't care what the internet says, you are NOT going to die, Harry. Don't you give up on me.
Don't make me tell you again. It's way past your bedtime, and you are not 'stuck.'
You see that guy to your left? That's your stunt double. Now one of you is going to give me some nipple in this scene, got it?
If you get in the way of Keith Richards' guitar solo one more time, I swear to God I will slap you until you your lightning bolt glows.
No more bald jokes, I mean it. I was Harry when I was your age too, and you know what? I'm still Harry where it counts.
You mean you don't know who that guy is either? Because I'm dead serious, I've never seen him before. No, I'm pretty sure he's not an extra. Is he still looking at me? Man, he's creepy.
I told you, no more scotch until you're 18 or we finish this scene, whichever comes first.
Ok, the Fonz has just implied you're not 'cool' because you wear glasses and ride a broom, so you and Potsie over there are going to prove that you're cool by spending the night in the cemetery. And...action!
Watch my hand. Look, I'm pointing. What am I pointing at? It's a mystery. And then BAM! here's the other hand, slapping you on the heaad. What did I say, Daniel? I said 'watch my hand.' Let's try it again.