Ok, folks. It's time to vote for your favorite caption. The winners will be posted on Saturday. I'll be back tomorrow with a post that won't suck nearly as much as yesterday's did.Here are the finalists, as selected by the lovely and infallible Mrs. Diesel:
- Sornie
Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten! A KITTEN, Daniel... a kitten.
- crazy aunt beatrice
What I'm trying to say is that I want you to be shorter in this scene, right? But also taller.
- tina
Watch my hand. Look, I'm pointing. What am I pointing at? It's a mystery. And then BAM! here's the other hand, slapping you on the head. What did I say, Daniel? I said 'watch my hand.' Let's try it again.
- Diesel
Now This time I want you to think, 'clown', 'happiness', got it?"
- MyUtopia
"You say 'One for the money' and then give me sassy jazz hands. Then, directly into Camera Two, give us a 'Two to go' followed by a step-ball-change. Quickly, then, everso quickly, rapid fire out 'Three to get ready/Four to go' while hopping on your broom and leaning in front of the blue screen as though flying onto the field. This Buzzby Berkley-like Quidditch match finale will have audiences lining up for next year's Harry Potter Follies weeks ahead of time."
- Jocelyn
"Toying with Death's scythe again, aye, Harry? How many times do I have to tell you most accidents happen at home?"
- Glacial Spain
Don't glower at me you cash cow.
- Michelle
Diesel: Enough with the Strong Man gag already. I KNOW the statue's only styrofoam, but we need it to LOOK heavy Dammit!
- Candace
Dont' look now, but I must shield you from the creepy John Mayer guy who is giving you the eye.
- Erica AP
Listed on humor-blogs.com.
Labels: Books, Caption Contest, Movies
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Great stuff! And thus far it's a 50/50 tie. Cool. Sitting around hitting "Refresh" DOES pay off.
Please can we vote for more than one? Some of those are killing me. Mine obvioulsy got in by mistake.
once again, i am humbled to find myself among so many funny funny folks. wait, did i say "humbled"? heh, i meant "rumpled".
that said, i'm honored to be a finalist. (i really am)
honestly, Diesel, between yours and, basically, every other caption here, do i really have a chance? only time will tell. (let's just try to get through this without hurting too many kittens, shall we?) ; )
Dang! Masturbation always wins!
Masturbation evidently has a leg up.
Crazy Aunt Beatrice's cracks me up!!
The moment I read "masturbate" and associated it with Harry Potter I felt a strong urge to lobotomize myself.
that crazy aunt beatrice...oy!
I want to vote for 'em all (had to vote for myself, of course, not that I actually think it's funniest).
Say, Diesel, I know you've been up nights waiting for this: I gave you a little award in my latest post.
I know I'm late to the party, but:
"I SAID SHOWER CURTAIN! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE A SHOWER CURTAIN!"
I voted for crazy aunt beatrice. Yes I thought the line was funny, but what was funnier is that it's a line that only a female would say. Diesel, I'm pretty sure you'd never say that to another guy. I know I wouldn't.
(Is crazy aunt beatrice clueless?)
By the way, this is total sacrilege.
How cool!! I'm vote-able in the most viable way!!
Practicing quietly to myself: It's an honor just to be nominated. It's an honor just to be nominated. It's an honor just to be nominated.
(Obligatory knock on mic. This thing is ON.)
It's really an honor just to be nominated.
And when Crazy Aunt Beatrice wins, they'll cut to me in my seat with a totally real-looking smile on my face, if I can keep my wits about me.
(Crazy Aunt Bea = Helen Mirren.
I = See? You can't even remember who the other ladies are. And it was only like five months ago.)
But I really actually do feel that it is an honor to be nominated. I'm in sweet company, dude.