Usually I pick a current movie to insert myself into, but pretty much all the movies out right now suck. So I'm going back to an old classic... sort of.
This isn't actually a scene from Star Wars, but I found this photo online and thought it was too good to waste. So what are you waiting for? Gimme a caption already. You know the rules: Submit your caption in the comments by Monday night. Mrs. Diesel will pick her favorites and I'll post them in a poll on Tuesday.
Have fun, and may be the force be with you.
Listed on humor-blogs.com.
This isn't actually a scene from Star Wars, but I found this photo online and thought it was too good to waste. So what are you waiting for? Gimme a caption already. You know the rules: Submit your caption in the comments by Monday night. Mrs. Diesel will pick her favorites and I'll post them in a poll on Tuesday.
Have fun, and may be the force be with you.
Listed on humor-blogs.com.
Labels: Caption Contest
| posted by Diesel at Friday, August 24, 2007 |
|
Leave a comment! |
"Tell us the location of Kenny Skywalker NOW!"
The Storm Troopers cornered what they believed to be an Albino Wookiee.
Help me Obe-Wan Kenobi.
"I really hope they don't ask me to pull a 'Jedi Groin Trick' while I'm down here."
Don't forget the anniversary gift!
"Wow--Darth Vader must really have a problem with my hair."
Do you guys smell that? I can't believe he tried to blame the robot.
Search him boys! I think he has a Jawa in his pants.
Ok, I've LOL'd at about half of these already. I can tell this is going to be a good one...
"Now that the Empire is out of business, we demand that you give us a job with the Mattress Police."
Ugh, put your arms down already. Talk about "The Dark Side".
How dare you call us geeks!! We oughta beat you with our toy guns.
Diesel - It's not what it looks like, guys. It was completely consensual! I didn't know R2D2 was underage! Help me out here, ya damn robot!
Didn't you read the sign on The Death Star? NO SOLICITORS! Take your droid and your book and get out of here!
"I didn't know he wasn't a trash can!"
"The underarm force is strong in this one."
"Guys ... really! I'm undercover! I've got my ID right here on my chest!"
"I can't believe we captured both Rotten 1 Disgusting 1 and R2D2 at the same time!"
Diesel demonstrates George Bush's new plan of action towards the War on Terrorism.
Who knew? You shave an Ewok and he starts doing the Macarena!
Okay puss bag, that's the last time you will call us "penis head"
If he confesses to creating Jar Jar Binks, pull the trigger.
What happens when you cross the "shameless-self-promoting" line.
Diesel: What? All I said was these aren't the droids you're looking for.
Troopers: Yeah? Well we're not falling for that one again.
I was going to submit something but I forgot the rules. I need to go back and read them.
...as Deisel wonders exactly what laws he's broken by posting that photo of a body part he 'thought was a finger'...
Even Diesel was unaware of the security measures taken for the release of his book.
Some days, Diesel feels more masochistic than usual.
"It's my daughter's leg, you sick bastards!"
Clearly Diesel messed with the wrong mattresses this time.
"Diesel...we will NOT move along! You don't have Jedi mind tricks and the Sith Lord is not recruiting!"
diesel: i wasn't attmepting a mind trick i was fantacizing about liea in that metallic bikini...
Diesel thinks: Wow! They really meant it when they said, "Wii will rock you!"
Diesel: Guys, I swear that is not a light saber in my pocket.
Diesel remains calm, knowing that his new Light Saber 2000 can get him out of even the trickiest situations.
Diesel (raises arms): May the underarm force be with you.
This was definitely not R2's idea of a pit stop.
The storm troopers were clearly unimpressed by Diesel's new AXE deodorant.
Did you forget to take off your shoes when you went through the metal detector at the airport?
"Ahhhh" thought Diesel, smugly "I've got 'em just where they want me."
"Lord Vader found your so-called "diesel fitter joke" to be old, irrelevant, and... stupid."
Diesel: "Hey R2, you ever get the feeling someone is watching you?"
"Guys, I think this might be the droid we're looking for."
Diesel: "You know, Princess Lea could have just gone with a restraining order like all the other girls do."
Diesel: "This is entrapment! The robot waved me down! All he wanted a ride to Burger King! We weren't doing anything, I swear!
Storm Troopers: "Okay, we've got him. Go ahead and call Chris Hansen and tell him to come out of the house and we'll do the interview right here."
Storm Troopers: "Okay R2, do a cavity search and then send us the info from the anal probe."
This is my favorite caption contest ever.
I wish I had your photoshop skillz.
Yeah, I spelled "skills" with a "z" cause I'm cool like that.
Diesel: Man, these guys have the worst case of droid rage I've ever seen!
Storm Trooper #1: This guy looks way too old to be Obi Wan Kenobi. Are you sure we got the right guy?
Storm Trooper #2: I don't know. All humans look alike to me.
Diesel: May the farce be with ye.
Storm Trooper #3: He said farce, not force. Obi Wan ain't Irish. We got the wrong guy.
Storm trooper: Lets see you you talk smack about my mother now, bitch.
Really? These are the new Homeland Security uniforms? Honestly guys, that R2D2 is a prop and I am NOT an illegal alien!
oh oh I got another one.
Your under arrest for licking an underage droid!!
Storm Trooper: "Search every cavity if you have to! He took our press passes!"
Meanwhile: Diesel thinks: "That R2 unit had better get the passes to Obi Wan Kenobi or the rebellion is doomed!"
Diesel: You guys have to get out of your parents' basements more. Look at how white you are.
Storm Trooper: Look who's talkin', Casper!
Diesel: "Hold your hollywood props you imperial douche bags; Lucas and I go way back...I promise! Tell 'em R2!
R2D2 to the Imperial Army: "But he's smarter than C-3PO, and we have more fun."
Storm trooper: Whats that yellow stuff leaking out of his pant leg--aww, sh!t! It just touched my new shoes and its starting to soak in, wait! Am I going to die?!! HEAVEN HELP ME!!!!
___________________________________Storm trooper: So, are you still to busy to sign a few autographs now.
__________________________________
Storm trooper: For the last time assh@le, who gave you the nudey photos of me and Yoda?!!
Diesel: Lord Vader. Me and Vader are tiiiight.
__________________________________
Storm trooper: We know you are lying, our soures in the bar tell us you asked for "bean dip and ONE DIET YODA!!!
Diesel: But I thought Lord Vader wouldn't mind my taking a peek when he was in the shower! He ordered me to give him kickass blog publicity!
Exploiting a loophole in the Patriot Act, George Lucas began a new offensive against "The Star Wars Holiday Special."
Diesel: I hope they frisk me soon.
Lead Storm Trooper: The Empire does not have a sense of humor. You are under arrest for writing the funniest damn book ever.
Diesel: There's only four of them. I know I can take them. Get ready R2.
R2-D2: I would much rather have gone with Master Luke than stay here with you. I don't know what all this trouble is about, but I'm sure it must be your fault.
Diesel: That malfunctioning little twirp, this is all his fault.
Head Stormtrooper: And now, your Diesel-ness, we will discuss the location of your hidden Adjutant Inspectors!
"Holy crap, this droid has leaked oil all over the place!"
Forced to his knees, Diesel gradually recognized his droid's treachery. "R2," he growled, "you cod!"
Wait, you're not Han Solo!
(Though he [i]is[/i] roguishly handsome...)
-------
Sorry I've been gone. Missed you (not in a gay way or anything).
I wrote something over at KK, which is finished, in that form anyway. Funny as ever, Diesel.
Who's yer daddy, Diesel? Oh no! Not HIM!
Giving new meaning to the term "shotgun wedding," Diesel and R2-D2 said their vows last Saturday in front of 200 guests. The groom wore a striking "Police"-themed t-shirt, and the bride wore something old (Obi Wan's handkerchief), something new (Leia's QVC cubic zirconium pendant), something borrowed (Han's vest), and something blue (Palpatine's aquamarine tennis bracelet).
Showing barely at all under an empire-waist gown, the bride's due date is roughly when the Death Star explodes.
1. Darth Evader
2. Et tu, R2D2?
3. Diesel power reigns supreme
"After a lackluster performance at the Storm Trooper job interview, Diesel was assigned to their Storm Pooper division."
It's because I'm black, right?
I'm confused. Are the good guys in white or black?
I think two rav aka IMBECILE had the best caption. A bit brief, but heh...
I love the "et tu" comment!
Fucking anonymous trollers.
OMG GREAT picture. Ok, gotta think. . .
Although the situation looked dire, Diesel was relaxed; secure in the knowledge that these were all graduates of the Imperial Stormtrooper School of MarksmanshipTM.
This is really tough for me... I always try not to remember star wars because it is my ex boyfriend's favourite...
"Freeze, dont move, give me your jacket, it looks cool!
Stormtrooper #1: Hold still, Diesel, I think I see a mosquito on the back of your head!
Diesel: Um...are you guys sure this is safe?
Stormtrooper #2: Of course it's safe! We're the Empire's elite. When have we EVER missed a shot?
*zap zap zap zap*
Stormtrooper #1: Oops...
Stormtrooper #2: Well don't blame me. I was distracted by the fact that he was wearing two watches.
Stormtrooper #3: Yeah, same here. He had one on each hand! Who DOES that?
Stormtrooper #1: Yeah, that was pretty weird. Let's go get lunch, guys.
Now THIS is what I call fantasy camp!
or:
"Now THIS is what I call a vacation!"
(take your pick) ; )
When Diesel gave his wife a Princess Lea gold bikini costume for their anniversary, he never guessed she'd set the storm troopers on him.
Diesel had no idea how seriously the folks at Disneyland would take his cutting in line on the Star Tours ride.
Diesel suddenly realized that when they had said, "No saber, no service" they were dead serious.
Diesel: Come on guys, I was only kidding when I called you Trekkies.
Diesel realized he had committed a grave faux pas by coming without a costume to the Annual Star Wars Convention.
Diesel: Come on guys, I didn't know it was a costume party! You're not really going to make me wear Princess Lea's gold bikini, are you?
Diesel learns the hard way that things are the same all across the universe. After getting caught giving a droid the "luv u long time" treatment, R2's brothers invite him to an Imperial shotgun wedding.
Wow, you really CAN see yourself in the bald spot...Mort, come check this out!
Oops, I meant Princess Leia, not Princess Lea, I guess I was typing too fast there. Can you fix that for me, Diesel?
ok, after 80 comments
a) it is hard to come up with something new
b) I already forgot comment 7 or 8 and don't want to steal someone else's idea
c) I am laughing and it is hard to concentrate!
This is a nice picture!
Blissfully unaware of what a "carbon freeze" actually entailed, Diesel considered whether he should ask if there were any other flavors available.
By the way, that's me in the lower right hand corner...
Careful men, he's got cooties.
Eyes narrow, jaw set, Diesel prepared to make his Jedi Escape move with the load he'd just laid in his tighty whiteys. Before he could get his Jedi MoJo going tho, the squishy stink of good-guy poo lube gave him away.
Caption contest :
"Diesel quickly realized it wasn't a good idea to forget his passport when crossing to Canada".
By the way...
Just to let you know I've just tagged you with a cultural meme I came up with with afternoon. I'd love to read yours !
Have a look at it on my blog, the latest post ;)
#1: Stormtrooper #1: "R2D2, point to the place on the doll where he touched you..."
#2: Diesel soon realized R2D2 was not the droid he was looking for.
#3: Diesel: "Little do they know that I ate at Taco Bell an hour ago."
#4: Diesel: "They are sooo buying my book."
#5: Stormtrooper#1: Sir, for the last time R2D2 is NOT a trash recepticle!"
Diesel knew his Stormtrooper Review would be grand, once the boys got the dance steps down: "Once again, from the top... two, three, four...
Here is the drag, see how it goes,
Down on the heels, up on the toes,
That's the way to do the Varsity Drag,
Do-dee-odle-oh-do!"
Is that a vibroblade in your pocket, Diesel, or are you just happy to see us?"
Storm Trooper: Diesel, we all know what you and Princess Leia have been up to, now you'll just have to marry her.
Darth Vader clearly was not pleased at being named an Adjutant Inspector.
Diesel realized a little too late that he had taken his Ewok fetish too far.
Diesel (singing):...Let's do the time warp again....Oh, wait, you mean this isn't Rocky Horror Picture Show?
Note to Self: "Stormpoopers" isn't funny.
Lots of good captions here. How can I compete with these?
Okay, I'll give it a shot...
Diesel (John Stamos style): Not the hair, Do NOT touch the hair.
Storm Troopers: Your chanting "Battle Star Galactica kicks ass" was found less than amusing.
"Next, on a special Halloween edition of COPS..."
"Which part of 'We don't serve their kind' didn't you understand?"
_________
"Just as we suspected; he's a Kordavian Sausage smuggler. Lord Vader will be pleased."
__________
"Judging by the smug look on your face and the stain on your pants, you don't know we have filters in these masks. Now up against the wall, Goat Boy!"
__________
"Your Jedi gas tricks won't work on us."
__________
"Artoo, I think it's time for plan B. What was plan B again?"
___________
"No, I didn't know it was illegal to wear a Vader-shaped codpiece."
"diesel, this is the last time we'll tell you that you're too short to be a stormtrooper!!"
"I SWEAR I put your books in the mail, Wednesday, Thursday at the latest. Priority Post!"
Darth Vader: SSSS...Hawww...SSSS Haww...I said "Whack the wookie" not wook at the wacky!
"Were from the Emperor's Halitosis Brigade. Use the floss, Luke. Use the floss."
Only a true pussy would submit to six or seven virgin nerds with plastic guns.
You know I love ya, Diesel.
My caption:
Die or Diesel!
Keshi.
I would if I knew what a caption was.
Y;-) Paddy
It was then he realised R2 was in fact not coming onto him... jail was definetly going to be awkward.
I am not a troll.
Who's the Ewok now, bitch?
For the last time, that is a real robot! Stop trying to shove your damn books in it to mail them out!
"I'm sorry, but my uniform is in the wash"!
Stormtrooper (oddly with the voice of an old woman): We need to get this one back to Lord Vader, Ladies.
Diesel: Mom, you and your biddy friends are taking this convention way too seriously. Let me go, for God's sake - this is killing my knees, and I think old Bessie really hurt my back when she hit me with that blaster!
No, I want to do the acupuncture! No, I do! No, me! No, me!
That's right boys, they cloned you after me.
There was an old blogger called Diesel,
Who looked like a Wookie's pet weasel.
At a Star Wars convention,
He was put in detention,
For messing with R2's...dammit, I can't find another word to rhyme with Diesel!
You picked the wrong convention to wander into by accident, Trekkie.
Bad handwriting is not tolerated around here, Diesel. The bank wouldnt cash our checks.
Don't stand. Don't stand so. Don't stand so close to me. AAAAAAARGH! You're going to pay for getting that song in my head, Diesel.
OK, that sucks. But it's all I got.