Normally on Thursdays I do a post linking to some of my favorite blogs or blog posts. I was thinking of doing a post thanking those of you who signed up for the Humor-Blogs Revenue Referral Program, but I think I've done enough self-promotion for a while and I didn't want it to be misinterpreted as more self-congratulating on my part.
Then I ran across this comment from the lovely Karen on my most recent post:
Anyway, Karen's blog is here, if you'd like to read more. I'll be back tomorrow with an all new caption contest!
Then I ran across this comment from the lovely Karen on my most recent post:
You sir are a fucktard dingleberry, your post is (basically) about overweight women and how they should hide when average weight people are around. I think this is one of those posts everyone keeps telling me to just ‘click by’ it’s a humor blog he doesn’t mean anything blah blah blah, but I read it 3 times to make sure I hadn’t gone crosseyed or something, and I think I’m about to get banned from another blog. Yep, Pointless Drivel and I are no more due to my lack of tolerance, I'm sure I need to get taken off your list of book-hocking butt blogs, and if 6 billion people are trying not to look that doesn't leave too many fat women does it? Perhaps there is a record for being banned from commenting? Oh, and if anyone qualifies for this ugly post it's Pointless Drivel...so it's a twofer!Thanks, Karen. Now that you've mentioned fat women hiding when average people are around, I can't rid my mind of the image of of tutu-wearing hippos trying to be very still behind lamp posts.
Anyway, Karen's blog is here, if you'd like to read more. I'll be back tomorrow with an all new caption contest!
Labels: Shout-Outs
| posted by Diesel at Thursday, September 06, 2007 |
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Leave a comment! |
Aw, man, I'm sorry. If you had only waited a week or so to publish your book, you could have included "F**ktard Dingleberry" as your nom de plume .
Such a missed opportunity...
Dude she has ten cats lol. Heck, she didn't need to mention that she takes a lot of anti-depressants, it was implied by owning more then 2 cats.
Aw, man! I was going to say what joel b. said! Sort of. Not as cleverly, of course. But that is some kind of swear word. I'm going to be stealing it, for sure!
Remind Bossy to stay on your good side.
The latest stats show that while America is getting fatter, the only state that is over 30% obese is Mississippi.
Basically you've offended a minority.
How could you?
I say if people aren't upset occasionally by your 'art', then you aren't doing your job.
Joel - It does have a sort of ring to it, doesn't it? I feel like it should have some kind of title in front of it though, like Count F**ktard Dingleberry of New Smythington or something.
Chris - Yeah, I figured I'd let her site speak for her. I really don't mean to make fun of her, but it is a little odd for someone who clearly understands she has a loose grip on reality to be deliberately lashing out at people for perceived insults. It's like an acrophobia complaining about how the airplane is going too high.
Madmad - Just remember, you heard it here first!
Oh, man, now I HAVE to go back and read the whole post. I can't just start back from here.
Bossy - Just stay thin. You know how I hate fat people.
Howard - I like to think of these as "purge" posts (you know, like what good looking people do to stay skinny after they gorge themselves). Every once in a while I have to do something like this to see how many people will conclude that for 3 weeks I was a really nice and then somehow I turned into a complete a-hole overnight. (Or maybe I was KIDDING?). Presumably you've read my "gay-bashing" posts, and you're still around, which makes you a pretty cool guy in my opinion. Some time I'm going to try to do a post that offends gay fundamentalist fat ugly black people. That'll be a coup.
Goldennib - Good luck figuring it all out. :)
Thanks for the link King Diesel. I think her blog is funny.
Dingleberry is just a flat out funny word.
I only read your post once, so perhaps I did not understand it.
Karen seems to like her hubby.
Diesel, mate - just don't come lurking when I stand on the scales!
``Dingleberry'' is a great word, though. It's one of those multi-purpose labels!
Sir Fucktard Dingleberry Smythe III,
Thank you so very much for featuring my little weblog! Despite my loose grip on reality, I still think that your post was an exercise in being an asshole, which you, of course, are extremely good at. Your lovely commenters are occasionally funny and somewhat weirdly informed. I do hope that my commenting ban on this blog will be forthcoming because of my horrible intolerance of the word 'Dude', my rude comment about your drivel buddy, my extremely rude comment on your book and humor-blog. Thank you so very much, Karen of A Strange Life
Wow...imagine my surprise to read this post just as I had written a nice post about your book :)
Sorry to hear/read about that, Diesel. Well, you're nobody if you don't have at least some haters, right? Not everybody shares the same sense of humour. BTW...You do know what a Dingleberry is, right? ;)
She sees herself as an internet troll, reminds herself that she should spend less time in the blogosphere, and yet she persists.
Repeating a behavior over and over when it continuously fails to achieve its intended purpose could be a half-decent definition of mental illness. No joke.
Thanks for the link (which I was unable to resist clicking); that brief experience has traumatized me for life. Immediately upon reading her blog, all you can feel is "Poor Me, Poor Me" emanating thru the ether.
SOME of us fat-asses have the common sense God gave a pencil eraser and cover it up. No one wants to see my rolls, including ME! The rest of them just need to get a grip, quit whining, and get thicker skin (if their skin were a bit thicker maybe their cottage cheese wouldn't show thru so easy).
I personally thought it was a hilarious post, and I'm a pretty hefty girl but I sure wasn't offended. Again, SOME of us have the decency to cover it up. Congrats and welcome to the Grand Society of Fucktard Dingleberries, Diesel!
LOL! I'm back. Couldn't resist. This is how a friend of mine explained the word dingleberry to me when we were in high school:
dingleberry
A smallish, semi-dry, extraordinarily tenacious remnant of fecal matter which, when unwittingly rolled into a mixture with toilet paper lint by the action of wiping, becomes almost irremovably entangled among ones anal hair, a situationality exacerbated by the vigorous chafing and friction between the buttocks and most commonly remedied by the sad and almost entirely unavoidable remedy of plucking out at its root the individual hair to which each dingleberry is conjoined. Of related interest, dingleberries are often noted as having the vague odor of undigested corn or peanuts.
Well, it was more or less the same definition...and she even drew a picture for me. This def was take from Urban Dictionary.
Hilarious, don't ya think? :)
Well, I tell ya what. I'm considered to be beautiful by many. But if I went out in a string bikini, I am sure anyone and everyone who had ever called me such would retract that statement entirely!
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Things are getting oh, so weird around here...
So, I'm getting a little scared. When I click on new blogs to visit, I seem to find some version of that frog. I feel like I'm in that movie "Magnolia" when the frogs are coming out of the sky. Are we there?
Dingleberry dingleberry dingleberry!
Big D, if she ever writes a post snarking on men with receding hairlines, you let me know and we'll go over and troll her message boards together. Who's with us?!?
Lucky you. Looks like you've earned yourself a nemesis. I wish I had someone to yell at me, especially if they're on medication.
how do bigger people hide behind normally proportioned ones? How many doe sit take...4-5 and wouldn't it then blance the equation?
Guess Karen is entitled to her opinion too.
ah...the blog world is no different than the real world...
sigh.
aw... isn't that special?
liking the image of tutu-wearing hippos... sounds like something straight out of Fantasia! by the way: know how a tutu-wearing hippo hides in a strawberry patch? she paints her toenails red, fucktard. ; )
Diesel! Your shout out rocks. I even wrote you a post, but I forgot the guy who knew I was nuts due to the number cats we owned. Oh, wait, that was the Dude guy. Sorry. And did I ever make the ladies uptight or what? I look forward to my comment ban. I am so very intolerant, I really deserve it. Totally.
of course, that joke would have been infinitely more funny if it had read:
How does a tutu-wearing Hippo hide in a dingleberry patch...
but then she would have had to paint her toenails brown, and everyone knows brown toenails look like shit.
ps: perhaps someone should accquaint Karen with the term "attention whore". or not... ; )
Overlooked I think in the the "fucktard dingleberry" fracas is the alliterative, nearly poetic phrase "book-hocking butt blogs."
You are so lucky Diesel. I wish I had an evil troll.
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Speaking as a very large person, I found your post quite funny.
Especially considering that you're only a spring chicken if you mean that scrawny blue-bonnet that keeps chasing Foghorn Leghorn around.
I've read all the comments, want to make some pithy, intelligent comment - but - I'm at a loss for words.
It's just kind of sad...
A war of words on blogs.
I don't think you're an FD, but I did find some parts of the post mildly offensive. I figured I must not be taking it in the spirit it was meant.
Not the part at the end where you make fun of yourself, though. That was just funny.
Don't fret, Deisel. I love me some fucktard dingleberry humor.
Oh please don't ban Karen. I'd like to see the heights of desperation she goes to in order to attempt to get herself banned. That would be fun!
I didn't find your post offensive, then again I have the good sense to not subject the general public to my blubber.
Bitch Fight! I loves me a good cat match. Now you've gone and done it and hooked me. I need to start a fight with someone now too!!
Yes! Another satisfied customer for Diesel!
The best I've been able to provoke is a person who called me a "pig". I guess I'm just not creative enough to attract people who use words like "fucktard dingleberry".
I like the word "Mutard," personally. Not moutard, but Myewtard as in mutant.
OK I guess that was a tangent. . .
Chris, I have 4 cats. But there are 6 of us, so maybe the ratio makes some sort of an allowance for my kind. Or maybe I'm depressed and I just haven't realised it yet. Perhaps it will hit me in spades several years from now. Yikes!
Unfortunately, I also enjoy using the word "dude" so I fear that I am destinied to be an outcast in all social circles.
Plus I shop at Wallyworld. There. I've sealed my fate. Now no one will ever read my blog again.
PS are you and Karen serious about this, or is this some carefully orchestrated train wreck to build readership for you both? ^_^
I like the Dingleberry part. It becomes you! Tee hee
No really. I sense tension. Am I right? Is there tension in the room?
Why leave a narsty comment like that. Humour. It is what it is, no?
I'm thin, Diesel, but out of shape. So does that make me a thin-fat?
Or a fat thinny?
You can't have everyone love you.
Thank God!
xo
Blue
Wasn't it the Klingons that circled Uranus in search of dingleberries?
Oh, no.....I remember the joke now!
What do Star Trek and toilet paper have in common?
They both circle Uranus in search of Klingons!
OK...this calls for another Star Trek caption contest!
the fact that "f**ktard dingleberry" found its way onto your banner says it all. or maybe it says nothing at all... f**k if i know. ; )
suddenly i'm remembering a stupid camp song, and singing "John F**ktard Dingleberry Smith"... is that wrong?
I'm astounded and amazed at it all. I'm speechless. Which is pretty astounding and amazing.
See, first I call you a fucktard dingleberry and now there's no hard feelings. Obviously you are a magician. I will use more tact next time for sure (I completely missed the subtle implications, I think I need to drink more). Thank you for your kind comment on my post, and for allowing me to call someone a fucktard dingleberry who so falls in love with it they put it on their banner. Thanks again, Karen
See, everybody's happy. And no, this wasn't a stunt. I just thought I'd give Karen a chance to be heard, for good or ill. And for the record, I was mildly offended by my post as well. I have scolded myself and now I feel better.
How could you? you, you, you, you **slaps self in head**.., you. I mean the crass odometer.., I mean.., odacity.., crude rude dude. I am ashamed of you. Uhm. It seems to be the fad today, so I'm just trying to be helpful here.
You SLIDERS hater you. Which means you offended another minority. All one of us. Had it been Star Trek or Star Wars, your butt would really be in sling. :-)
Can we have pics of you scolding yourself? Was a flog involved?
How bloody rude (and not altogether coherent). At least your obtuse commenter had the modicum of courtesy to supply a name, rather than comment as an anonymous fool.
But she has since apologised, so I suppose all is forgiven?
You are THE person to go to when I want my pointless drivel!!
I am chunky diesel so does that mean you don't love me?? I can't be President of your fan club?
What's up with these back-lash blog-haters? Man, that sucks!
I almost got discouraged from blogging from an ex-friend who totally pissed me off. But no, I will not fade away. Fuck all them poli-righteous assholes.
Oops, did I sound bitter?
Now that you have taken delivery of Karen, where is my $100?
I knew I should have gotten the cash up front.
I am not a fool.
Diesel continues to surprise me. I really like the man.
Don't ban her Diesel. You could keep her around as a pet, and you could even put up a sign that says, "Please don't feed the trolls -they leave too many dingleberries behind."
I have no intention of banning anyone. Mostly because I don't know how. Now shunning, that I can do! I'm a champion shunner.
"Diesel",
re: the price of "everyone's" happiness
Look for my bill at the end of the month. This signing up and pretending to be hundreds of different people is turning into a lot more work than I expected.
"Glacial Spain"
Diesel, I was watching Whoopi Goldberg on The View and she took your side and said, "He's from the Northeast ... This is part of his cultural upbringing...For a lot of people, fat people are sport..."
Don't hate the haters, hate the hate. WTF?! Congrats Count FD on your first real and official troll. Congrats on your magical performance in turning a once-troll into a new fan, heehee!
I have a recipe for Dingleberry pie. With and without cheese.
Jam and jelly recipes are in the works. First tries tasted like sh1t.
Skul
Karen needs to get more firmly in touch with her opinions.
This is sad, dude, one of her recent posts says she's suicidal. Not a far war.
You're a bigger man than me, but I'm only 5'7" and 160lbs so that's not hard to pull off. I had my first blog-battle over the hip-hop post. By the end of it, I was absolutely amazed and in awe at the power of words and blogs. Glad you all had a great resolution though you all could have carried it on until it wound up as a VH1 special with behind the scenes footage climaxing at a meeting you all have at an internet cafe leaving one of you dead! Then t-shirts could be sold reading "Stop the blogger-on-blogger violence!"
See what happens when I leave the room for a minute?! Now I have to backtrack and read and ach, it's too late now.
This is the downside of fame, my friend. You'd better get a good publicist ;).