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Dr Pepper Proves Book Larnin' is No Substitute for Common Sense

As you know, Dr Pepper is my muse. I therefore took it particularly hard when the marketing wizards at the Dr Pepper company turned out to be no more wizards than, well, than Dr Pepper is a real doctor. From the Buffalo News:Less than a month after... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Wednesday, February 28, 2007


Inappropriate Card Day Recap / Oscar Cap

I'm over at the Snark again today, recapping the Oscars.Thanks to everybody who participated in Inappropriate Card Day! It was the best one ever.I got highly inappropriate cards from Angela, Chrissy, Robin, Lizza, Awaiting, Neva and G (I'm being pre... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Tuesday, February 27, 2007


Happy Inappropriate Card Day!

Well, it's finally here. I hope you're spreading the love with someone you hate, or spreading the hate with someone you love.While I was working on this post, I got an e-card from G! Lookit:Ain't that sweet?And if you don't know WTF this is all abo... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Monday, February 26, 2007


Funniest Blog Post Contest Update

A couple of clarifications to my Funniest Blog Post Contest:Remember, you have to submit a post, not a blog. For example, "mattresspolice.com/2007/02/brilliant-james-blunts-songwriting.htm" or just "Hey, Diesel, go to mattresspolice.com and find the... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Sunday, February 25, 2007


There Can Be Only Four (Funniest Blog Post Contest)

You probably know by now that I run a little black ops project called humor-blogs.com. One of the goals of humor-blogs.com is to give some recognition to lesser known but very funny blogs. The problem with most blog directories -- even the ones tha... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Saturday, February 24, 2007


Blogger Code of Blah Blah Blah

I recently ran across something called a "Blogger Code of Ethics" on the web somewhere. What a great idea! It's about time somebody got us unruly bloggers in line. I agree with this Code 100%. Or maybe 74.3%. Still, I mostly agree with it. I've... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Thursday, February 22, 2007


Imagine My Surprise

I've always been a shy, introspective sort. I had a hard time making friends as a kid, so I resorted to devising imaginary friends. Fortunately, I was quite imaginative and was able to construct entirely believable fictional characters with whom to... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Wednesday, February 21, 2007


Help Me Out Here

Once again, I'm over at the Snark, bitching about Hollywood girlie-men.While you're here though, can I ask you a favor? You may have noticed I've made some changes to this site. One of these is a new section over there to the right that reads "Be a... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Tuesday, February 20, 2007


World's Worst Dictator

Recently my wife was reading an article in Parade about the world's worst dictators. (Yes, this is the second post over the past week prompted by Parade magazine. I'm also reading a 700 page book about artificial intelligence, ok? It's called bein... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Sunday, February 18, 2007


Saturday Dispatch: Medium Security Prison

There is one place you do not want to end up, and that is a medium security prison. From what I've heard, minimum security prisons are pretty posh, and you can potentially meet some pretty important people, like Michael Milken or Martha Stewart. Ma... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Saturday, February 17, 2007


The Final Frontier for Wikipedia

In a bid to gain an edge in respectability over its stodgier rivals, Wikipedia today announced that it would be publishing a print edition of its online knowledgebase."We're elated to be able announce our plans to develop a hard copy Wikipedia," said... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Friday, February 16, 2007


Only 12 Shopping Days Until Inappropriate Card Day!

I'm a hopeless romantic.I'm also hopeless as a gymnast and harpsichord player, if you must know.I met my future wife at a college basketball game in January of 1992. I was playing center, and she was the captain of the cheerleading team. That's a r... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Wednesday, February 14, 2007


I'm Not Here...

...because I only post on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays now. Oh, and a short Dispatch on Saturday. Didn't you get the memo?I'm over at the Snark, making startling revelations about presidential movies with homoerotic undertones, just in time for ... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Tuesday, February 13, 2007


Brilliant! (James Blunt's Songwriting Journal)

"I wrote 'You're Beautiful' in two and a half minutes, after seeing an ex-girlfriend.'"- James BluntBlunt said on VH1's The Vspot that he wrote this song about seeing his ex-girlfriend with a new man in the London underground. He says that they share... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Monday, February 12, 2007


So Here's the Deal

I have a confession to make. I don't actually write this blog. I mean, I type it, but I don't really write it. I just write what the Voice tells me to write. Shhhhh! Do you hear that? That fizzing sound. If you listen closely, you can hear the... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Saturday, February 10, 2007


The Straight, the Narrow and the Raunchy

He wore a checkered blazer. Not exactly gaudy, but not exactly stylish. His hair was gelled but slightly mussed. Overall, he gave the impression of a man who cared about his appearance but not enough to shower regularly. If this weren't 1993, I might... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Friday, February 09, 2007


Never Underestimate the Power of Humor-Blogs.com

As I'm running low on material at the moment, I implore those of you in need of a humor fix to visit one of the fine representatives of the humor-blogs.com consortium.Soon the entire Interweb will be subject to the iron rule of humor-blogs.com. Once ... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Wednesday, February 07, 2007


Creature Comforts

So if you've been around here a while you know about my odd children and their propensity for taping informational signs to objects around our house. Since I've got nothing else to post right now, I thought I'd treat you to another example.This one r... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Tuesday, February 06, 2007


The Adventures of Crash McFarlane in the Blogosphere

Crash McFarlane hopped into his iPod, desperate to reach the blogosphere before dark.The iPod sputtered to life, creaking and shuddering as it soared above the docking station. McFarlane prayed that the batteries would last. If they gave out before... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Monday, February 05, 2007


Take This, Bratz™!

When I was a kid, little girls played with the likes of Holly Hobbie™ and Strawberry Shortcake™. Today such wholesome characters have been replaced by edgier models. Dolls today -- or should I say "action figures," as in "G.I. Joe™ went into town lo... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Saturday, February 03, 2007


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