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Oscar Caption Contest Winners

Brad won handily this week, with a caption that was about neither farting nor something being in someone's pocket. Let that be a lesson to the rest of you.Brad, you may proudly display the coveted In Your Face award:VE came in second with:Spielberg:... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Friday, February 29, 2008


Thursday Shout-Out

Wow, it's been a while since I've done one of these. Been busy editing magazines and whatnot.Remember the good old days when Humor-Blogs.com was a big happy family, with me sitting on top of that family like a big friendly uncle who smelled like pip... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Thursday, February 28, 2008


I Think My Cat May Be on Drugs

That's not an expression, like "What has gotten into that cat? It's acting like it's on drugs." I mean, it started out that way, but at this point I seriously think my cat may be abusing a controlled substance. I don't really know how to find out ... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Wednesday, February 27, 2008


Happy Birthday and Get Well Soon!

It's the happiest, saddest and most inappropriate day of the year! Yes, Inappropriate Card Day is finally here!Celebrate by giving an inappropriate card to someone you recognize! Or don't!-------------------------------------The competition in the ... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Tuesday, February 26, 2008


It's Inappropriate Card Day Eve!

Tomorrow is Inappropriate Card Day! I know, it really sneaks up on you, doesn't it? In case you're somehow unaware of this phenomenon that is now so popular that even when I search my own website for "Inappropriate Card," Google suggests that maybe... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Monday, February 25, 2008


Caption Contest: The Oscars!

Yes, it's that time of year again, I guess. I can't stand the Academy Awards. What a load of pretentious crap. But hey, that's no reason for me not to capitalize on the popularity of the Oscars for my own purposes.In case you're new here, that's m... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Friday, February 22, 2008


Sarcasm, Harry Potter and Satanism, Oh My!

Bear with me while I conduct a little experiment.I've noticed that the traffic on this site has taken a significant drop over the past week or so. Analyzing my stats, I see that I'm not getting nearly as many hits from Google image search any more. ... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Thursday, February 21, 2008


Don't You Know that You're Toxic?

So lately my neck has been killing me. I’m not sure if it’s the driving or what, but I’ve got this knot in my upper back/neck area. The really messed up thing is that when I went to bed on Friday night, it was on the left side, and when I woke up S... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Wednesday, February 20, 2008


Pay Attention to the Man Behind the Curtain

Occasionally as I am making my rounds through the blogosphere, I run across someone referring to me in excessively laudatory terms, e.g. "the mighty Diesel" or "Mr. Diesel President-CEO-Founder-King of Humor-Blogs." (Thanks, Lobo and Bee.)I want you ... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Tuesday, February 19, 2008


The Clay Pigeon has Landed!

It's here!The Clay Pigeon is a weekly online humor magazine put together by a select few of the evil geniuses over at humor-blogs.com (including yours truly). The first issue launches today!I've been working so hard on this damn thing over the past ... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Monday, February 18, 2008


Caption Contest Winners

This week's winning caption came from Theresa. Theresa, you may proudly display the image with the winning caption and/or the coveted In Your Face award:Theresa narrowly beat out renalfailure, who offered up:The years were not kind to Short Round. N... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Friday, February 15, 2008


What's the Difference?

I'm proud to present a new feature on Mattress Police called What's the Difference?, in which I explain the difference between two similar words or concepts. I think you'll find it fun and/or educational.Cyborgs and androids. Here's the deal: Cybo... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Wednesday, February 13, 2008


Vote!

Sorry, folks, it's been a crazy day so I'm a little late getting this posted. Here are this week's top ten captions. I'll post the winner on Friday.Brad said...After fulfilling young Diesel's odd request, Harrison Ford immediately quit the Make-A-... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Tuesday, February 12, 2008


14 Shopping Days Till Inappropriate Card Day!

Every year somebody asks me what I'm getting Mrs. Diesel for Valentine's Day.My answer is that Mrs. Diesel and I don't celebrate Valentine's Day.This statement is greeted with predictable disbelief. "But you have to get her something.""No, I don't. ... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Monday, February 11, 2008


Thursday Shout-Out: New Adjutant Inspectors!

Yes, it's time once again to promote a handful of bloggers who have outdone their peers in their efforts to make me forget that time in 7th grade when the girls ranked all the boys in the class from 1 to 10, and I was given an 'L'. The Adjutant Inspe... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Friday, February 08, 2008


Caption Contest: Indiana Jones

You know the rules. Submit your caption in the comments. I'll post the best ones in a poll on Tuesday. Have a swell weekend!It drops on 2/18.Listed on humor-blogs.com.Labels: Caption Contest, Movies
Posted by Diesel on Friday, February 08, 2008


Terminator vs. Highlander: The Sarah Connor McLeod Chronicles

Sarah Connor McLeod, proud Highlander woman, is tending her sheep in the Scottish Highlands, when a hulking stranger wearing a kilt approaches.Terminator: Are you Sarah Connor McLeod?Sarah: I am. Sarah Connor McLeod of the Clan McCleod. And who mig... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Wednesday, February 06, 2008


Sock Drawer

Sometimes I wonder if Hugh Jackman is an alien sent to earth from outer space to spy on humanity. The aliens wanted to give him a totally average sounding name that wouldn't stand out, so they came up with "Jack Human," but then there was a mix-up w... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Monday, February 04, 2008


Caption Contest Winners

This week's winning caption came from y not i. Y not i, if you had a blog, you could display the coveted In Your Face award:In second place was Bex Mitchell, with:Rambo - "...and I will love him, and hug him, andcall him George..." (Diesel sighs wit... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Friday, February 01, 2008


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