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Morty, the Undead Lobster

I'm still pretty busy with work, so all I can offer you today is this little anecdote from my youth. On the plus side, I think I've convinced Grundir to come out of hiding and fill in for me on Wednesday. I think he's up to something. Anyway, here... [Read the full post]


Congrats to Renal Failure!

Renal Failure wins this week, taking home the coveted In Your Face award:Seriously, stop coveting it, people. It's in the Bible.R.F. also gets a copy of my book, Antisocial Commentary: From the Secret Files of the Mattress Police. R.F., send me an ... [Read the full post]


Pandora's Box

As a compromise between listening to the same songs in my iTunes library over and over and hearing the Daughtry song of the moment sixteen times a day on the local radio station, lately I've been spending a lot of time on Pandora.Pandora is a sort of... [Read the full post]


Vote!

If I keep posting later and later in the day, eventually I'll be posting really early the next day, so you have that to look forward to.The picture kind of sucked this week too. Usually I do the picture the day before, so that I can look at it fresh... [Read the full post]


This Should Only Take a Minute

So I'm nearing a major deadline at work, and I can tell my boss is concerned that I'm going to be stressed out and working long hours this week. We were talking about another upcoming project, and I mentioned that I thought I would be able to handle... [Read the full post]


Caption Contest: The Other Boleyn Girl

I finally settled on The Other Boleyn Girl for this week's caption contest. Sorry for taking so long; my car continues to make my life interesting.I haven't seen the movie, but I thought this made a pretty good picture.A little twist this week, to k... [Read the full post]


Gather Your Memes and Hobbits About You!

It seems as if every time I darken this blog with my ominous visage, I must first apologize for my long absence. So once again, flesh-bags, I must express my regret that I could not enlighten and terrify you sooner.Frankly, I grow a bit weary of bei... [Read the full post]


Iron Man Caption Contest Winners

In a truly historic turn of events, Brad won the contest two times in a row, for a total of three wins! I even had to make a special banner for him:In second place was newcomer Jenny, Bloggess, with:The vasectomy was difficult but a success. There w... [Read the full post]


A Publishing Revoltution

Only a few years ago, getting a book published was an arduous, demanding process that often dragged on for years. Back then, many aspiring authors were turned away merely because their writing didn't fit into one of a few narrowly defined "genres," ... [Read the full post]


Hey, Thanks!

Just a quick post to say 2 things:1. To the guy who was honking at me as I was pushing my car up the overpass in Milpitas today: What were you trying to communicate exactly? That I was in the "no pushing lane"? That I wasn't pushing as hard as you... [Read the full post]


You're Number One!

I was thinking about hand signs today.There are only about seven hand signs that are universally recognized in Western culture, and I find it interesting that one of these is the sign for "F--- you." At least, I think that's what it means. I don't ... [Read the full post]


Vote!

Man, it's getting tough to pick the finalists for these. I did my best. Vote for your favorite below. And don't forget to check out the Clay Pigeon humor magazine when you're done.Brad said...Factoring in parts and labor, this was going to be the ... [Read the full post]


Harry Potter and the Comments of Retardedness

One of my most popular posts ever is Harry Potter and the Inevitable Slide into Satanism. It even made it into my book. The point of the post was to make fun of close-minded people who won't let their kids read Harry Potter books. I wrote: Now tha... [Read the full post]


Caption Contest: Iron Man!

In case you're new around here, that's me fiddling around with Iron Man's torso. Submit your captions in the comments. I'll post the best ones in a poll on Tuesday.Have fun and have a super weekend.Listed on humor-blogs.com.Labels: Caption Contest,... [Read the full post]


American Ingenuity

So I guess they killed off Captain America. Like, um, a year ago.I'm a little late on this, because I haven't read comics for a while, and I never really did follow Captain America. I like the idea of Captain America, but he always seemed like a dull... [Read the full post]


Humor Me

You may not be aware of this, but in addition to this site I also run a blog directory called Humor-Blogs.com. (I know, you're probably wondering what other secrets I've been keeping from you. Like maybe I've written a book, or I've been editing an... [Read the full post]


Hey, It's a Nickel!

Hey, it’s a nickel!Funny how excited I get about finding a nickel on the ground. What am I going to buy with a nickel? A gumball? I’ll just leave it for some ten-year-old kid to pick up. Someone who will appreciate it.Nickels are hardly even wort... [Read the full post]


The CP Looming Recession Issue!

Have you seen the new issue of the phenomenally popular online humor magazine, The Clay Pigeon? (Seriously, despite the fact that hardly anybody leaves comments on the articles, it's doing quite well.) With tough economic times ahead, the CP is doin... [Read the full post]


The Self-Portraiteers

I'll be posting the caption contest poll later today (you have until noon Pacific time to get your captions in, btw), but I wanted to do a quick post to announce the world premiere of a hilarious short film by Joel of Crummy Church Signs and a couple... [Read the full post]


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