Most Popular Posts
A Handy Guide to the State of Michigan | Sock Drawer | Your Visual Guide to Media Coverage of t... | This is not a compendia of erratum. | Sock Drawer | Throwing My Vote Away (on a Smaller Vagi... | This Post Was Not Tested on Animals | Denial is One of the Symptoms | Sock Drawer | ...Or Maybe Barrabas | Stumble THIS! | Something Fishy This Way Comes | No (Pointing Out) Fat Chicks | All In Favor of a Heliocentric Solar Sys... | Just Give Me a Nice Big Knob and I'l... | Jobs I Have Sucked At | Can you dig it? | Sock Drawer | 38? But You Seem So Immature! | Blogger of Light(R) | Your Brain (for Dummies) | Hasta la Vista, Monkeyhands (part 2) | Hasta la Vista, Monkeyhands | Tremble Before My Shovel! | Diesel's Campaign Running out of Gas | Urine Trouble Now | Human Inertia | Continuity Test | The Scariest Motel Ever | Sock Drawer #2 |
Complete Archives
November 2002
December 2002
January 2003
February 2003
March 2003
April 2003
May 2003
June 2003
July 2003
August 2003
September 2003
October 2003
November 2003
December 2003
January 2004
February 2004
March 2004
April 2004
May 2004
June 2004
July 2004
August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
July 2010
August 2010
September 2010

Cheap Kindle Books
Stuff you need
Latex Mattress
Natural Mattress
Latex Bed
Take your look to the mattresses with custom t-shirts that show off your serious side! Sofa Bed Mattress
RV Mattress

Site contents are (c) 2007-2010 Robert Kroese

Contact me at diesel -at- mattresspolice.com.
Learn more about Mercury Falls and The Force is Middling in this One at RobertKroese.com Search Mattress Police:

Caption Contest Winners

Man, there was some tough competition this week. The final result was a tie between Humor-Blogs.com member Chris C., and David McMahon, bestselling author and inmate of the world's largest prison.Third place goes The Frogster:"Didn't you read the si... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Friday, August 31, 2007


Thursday Shout-Out

It's been a while since I've done a straight-up shout-out, so here are some links for your enjoyment.First, I was going to tell you to get your movie quotes in to The Spoon's contest, but I'm too late. Instead, you'll just have to go there and watch... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Thursday, August 30, 2007


Rock Me Amadeus!

A common response to my blog reviews on humor-blogs.com is that "humor is subjective." As the whole point of writing a review of something is to provide an objective appraisal, I take this as a nice way of saying, "What you're trying to do here is s... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Wednesday, August 29, 2007


Vote!

Ok, folks. Mrs. Diesel has picked her favorites, and now it's up to you to pick the winner. There were over 115 entries this time, so there was some very stiff competition.I didn't enter this time, but if I had, I might have submitted something lik... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Tuesday, August 28, 2007


Who Wants to Help Daddy?

We spent Saturday packing up copies of Antisocial Commentary to send to you lovely folks. Here's a shot of the labeling team in action:They were so intent on their assigned tasks that they could barely be bothered to look up, much less smile for the... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Monday, August 27, 2007


Caption Contest: Star Wars

Usually I pick a current movie to insert myself into, but pretty much all the movies out right now suck. So I'm going back to an old classic... sort of.This isn't actually a scene from Star Wars, but I found this photo online and thought it was too ... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Friday, August 24, 2007


Thursday Shout-Out: New Adjutant Inspectors!

I was just informed by my son that this is NOT a finger.As promised, I have updated the Adjutant Inspector roll. The new Inspectors are:BooksEtc.Dorky DadLife On ManitoulinQueen of DysfunctionThe Chrysalis StageThe Frog BogUNCIVILVariant E's Fantast... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Thursday, August 23, 2007


Most Exciting Week Ever

Summary of our 14th anniversary: I put a chicken casserole from Costco in the oven. Mrs. Diesel gets home from work and lies down because she's exhausted from her first day teaching. She gets up and walks back into the kitchen, where I am busy at ... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Wednesday, August 22, 2007


14 Years!

Guess what? It's the 14th anniversary of Mrs. Diesel putting up with me today!This is a picture of us when we were young and in love, not to mention slightly out of focus.What does this mean to you? Well, it means tomorrow's post will probably suck... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Tuesday, August 21, 2007


Running Mates

With my own presidential hopes dwindling, I have turned my attention to the current crop of candidates. Which of these gentlemen or harshlady, I wondered, is worthy of my vote?Sadly, I find all the popular the candidates wanting. It's not that they... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Monday, August 20, 2007


Thank You, Please Come Again

First prize this week went to Joel B. of Crummy Church Signs.Second Place: Goldennib of The Chrysalis Stage:Homer: Is he pinching my ass or stealing my donut? He better not be stealing my donut. D'oh!Third Place: elasticwaistbandlady of The Smiling I... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Saturday, August 18, 2007


Diesel's Campaign Running out of Gas

Barely three weeks into a 13 year campaign, insiders report that the Diesel for President organization is struggling to regain the momentum of its heady early days. Having blown most of its budget on Mentos and bubblewrap, the group is having troub... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Friday, August 17, 2007


Housekeeping!

I sent out an email a few days ago to all the people who pre-ordered Antisocial Commentary. It probably got stuck in a few spam filters, so here's a link you can use to pay for the book. This form is only for people who pre-ordered the book. If yo... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Thursday, August 16, 2007


Too Much to Bear

I came across two alarming statistics recently. I read one of them in our local newspaper and the other one on the side of a Happy Meal container, so I'm pretty sure at least the second one is true.Statistic 1: The world's population is likely to pe... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Wednesday, August 15, 2007


Vote!

Okay, folks. Mrs. Diesel has picked her ten favorite captions. I'll post the poll results on Saturday.A few of you posted several really good captions, which Mrs. Diesel hates because when she's picked 10 I have to tell her "Sorry, you've picked 2 ... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Monday, August 13, 2007


Caption Contest: The Simpsons

I've been seeing these Simpsonized pictures of bloggers everywhere, which gave me the idea for this week's caption contest. I Simpsonized myself, made a few Dieselifications, and then inserted myself into a scene with Homer. Neat, huh?You know the ... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Friday, August 10, 2007


No Boobs Today (Thursday Shout-Out)

Thanks to Joel from Crummy Church Signs for filling in for me at the Humor-Blogs.com review site. I think we can all agree that he did a better job than I've been doing and was much less pissy about it than I am. If you want to be a guest review ed... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Thursday, August 09, 2007


Book 'Em!

I think Barnes and Noble is on to me.I think they've figured out that I'm one of those people who just browses through books for an hour, leaves them on the wrong shelf, and then walks out without buying anything. How else can you explain the fact t... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Wednesday, August 08, 2007


Good News, Everyone!

I'm moving up the official publication date of Antisocial Commentary: From the Secret Files of the Mattress Police to Monday, August 13. I just received the final preview copy of the book, and it looks fantastic, if I do say so myself. This means t... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Tuesday, August 07, 2007


Let's Support Our Sagging Space Program

It's been a while since I did a post inspired by Parade magazine, and as I am now a candidate for the presidency I thought I should give the much respected Sunday newspaper insert a gander to see what is happening in this crazy world of ours. I was ... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Sunday, August 05, 2007


<-- Older Posts     Newer Posts -->