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Posts matching 'Nonsense'

I seem to be on hiatus

The good news is that I'm healthy.  The bad news, from your perspective, is that I seem to have stopped blogging.  I'm not sure why.  Part of it is that I've been focusing on revising the beginning of my novel, Mercury Falls.  Tru... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Tuesday, June 16, 2009


Guest Post in which Johnny Truant Does Not Deny Being a Goat Molester

First, let me apologize for all the frequent outages and other weirdness lately on this site and Humor-Blogs.com/Blog-Storm.com.  Turns out my server didn't have enough memory to, um, remember that my websites are supposed to stay up for several... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Wednesday, April 08, 2009


MP Mailbag

Regarding my Pepsi logo post:The Office Scribe said...Am I the only one who thinks that the new Pepsi logo looks like a Barack Obama bumper sticker?Obama 2008: Yes we 'Pepsi' can!Several readers pointed this out. I actually ran across that assertion... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Wednesday, January 21, 2009


1000 New Species Discovered; New Total is Whatever the Old Total Was Plus 1000

Recently I ran across the remarkable headline “WWF: More Than 1,000 New Species Discovered in Southeast Asia.”I assumed, as most people would, that this discovery was a side effect of a scientific expedition to to determine the genetic origins of fem... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Wednesday, January 14, 2009


Do I Know You?

One of the inevitable consequences of being a handsome, charismatic man who has just written what is bound to be a runaway bestseller is that I am soon going to have to grapple with the pressures of being a minor celebrity.The glare of the spotlight ... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Monday, December 08, 2008


Lords of Light!

As you know, I'm a highly educated man with a vast depth and breadth of knowledge at my disposal. One might expect such an erudite individual to pursue greatness within the halls of academia, but I have elected instead to rub elbows with the Common ... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Monday, November 24, 2008


Ask Diesel About Language Stuff #2

Recently I started a new feature on this site with the creative and inspiring name "Ask Diesel About Language Stuff."The goal of this feature is to impart to you some insignificant fraction of my vast knowledge of grammar, punctuation and usage. Les... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Wednesday, November 12, 2008


Hey, can I borrow $700 billion to reassure you that my finances are sound?

Welcome to this special edition of Mattress Police - Antisocial Commentary. Recently we have seen the dollar gaining on foreign currencies and gas prices falling sharply, while the economy grows at a rate of 3.9% and interest rates remain historical... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Monday, October 06, 2008


Best of MP: The Legend of Diesel

While I'm on hiatus, working on the new version of Humor-Blogs.com, please enjoy this classic post from the Mattress Police archives.The Legend of DieselOk, so this is the first time I've ever felt the need to put a disclaimer in front of one of my p... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Tuesday, September 23, 2008


The Unbearable Dumbness of Being

So lately I've been trying to catch up on reading other peoples' blogs, and one of the inevitable consequences of that activity is me being irritated by how dumb some people are.Before I continue, I should explain that I myself am an idiot. A few da... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Wednesday, September 10, 2008


More Babble

Man, you guys are unpredictable. I thought I was going to tap into a groundswell of disappointment with my Babel post, but most of my readers who have seen it seemed to actually like it. Several of you were willing to take my word for it that the m... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Tuesday, August 12, 2008


Celebrity, Babies!

Regular readers of this blog will know that I'm not much for "topical blogging." While the rest of the world is trying to elevate the national political debate by dragging Paris Hilton into it, I'm focused on less sexy issues, like the spamming of p... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Wednesday, August 06, 2008


The Elements of Spam

If you're like me, you can't open your email without being bombarded by dozens of solicitations for products purporting to augment your physical, mental, or financial well-being. And if you have a phenomenally successful blog like this one, you're p... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Wednesday, July 30, 2008


Celebrities I Have Dreamed About

If you think I come up with some crazy stuff while I'm awake, you should hear my dreams.One of my favorites is a dream that I had when I was a little kid. I was walking through our house and I saw that there were wolves hiding behind the furniture.... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Wednesday, July 16, 2008


What does this switch do?

I decided to do a different kind of contest today. Inspired by your comments on my big knob post, I'm holding a contest for the best guess as to what the mystery switch in my car is for. I will select my ten favorite guesses and post them in a poll ... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Friday, May 30, 2008


Finally, a Post You Can Sink Your Teeth Into!

One can learn a lot of interesting things working at Google.I was surprised to learn, for example, how easy it is to be turned into a werewolf.I am not at liberty to disclose the exact nature of the project I’m working on, but I don’t think that I’m ... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Monday, April 28, 2008


Why Do You Do It?

It is understandable that many of you regard me with apprehension bordering on fear.My threatening countenance over there to the right, my merciless rants against the likes of Thomas Kinkade and my position as unquestioned despot of Humor-Blogs.com -... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Monday, April 14, 2008


Hey, It's a Nickel!

Hey, it’s a nickel!Funny how excited I get about finding a nickel on the ground. What am I going to buy with a nickel? A gumball? I’ll just leave it for some ten-year-old kid to pick up. Someone who will appreciate it.Nickels are hardly even wort... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Tuesday, March 04, 2008


If the Associated Press Wrote Product Warnings

Recently I came across a very disturbing news item on Yahoo. Here is a quote:"More and more foods bear a mishmash of warnings that they might accidentally contain ingredients that could seriously sicken people with food allergies. Yet there are sign... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Monday, January 21, 2008


Read My Lips: No New Anything!

Occasionally when I write one of my brilliant political missives someone leaves a comment like this one:Very good site. Thank you:-) farm porn mother son porn dragonball porn lindsay lohan porn free porn samples home porn free porn passwords tara rei... [Read the full post]
Posted by Diesel on Monday, January 07, 2008


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