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Hi. My name is Rob Kroese, AKA "Diesel." This is my blog. It has many words in it,
which are arranged in an intentionally amusing manner. I don't update it much any
more on account of IT WAS TAKING OVER MY LIFE. But hey, there's plenty of good
stuff in the archives. If you're new here, start with some of my Most Popular
Posts. And if you like that stuff, feel free to buy my novel. All proceeds go
toward proving to my junior high school teachers that I'm not a huge failure.
And if you're still not convinced, read a sample chapter here.
It's awesome.
Posts matching 'done'
As the MF'ing Blog Tour nears its end, I decided to do something a bit different today. What follows is a conversation I recently had with the author of the new novel Marvellous Hairy, Mark Rayner. As Mercury Falls and Marvellous Hairy are both ... [Read the full post]
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Do you find yourself thinking, "Sure, that was a pretty good post, but it's too bad
it's not 300 pages long"? Then you should totally buy my novel, Mercury Falls!
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Mercury Falls is being featured over at the Book Roast blog today! Read an excerpt and leave a comment for a chance to win a $15 Amazon gift certificate. And make sure to sign up for the Mercury Falls interest list when you're done.I inexplicably inj... [Read the full post]
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Do you find yourself thinking, "Sure, that was a pretty good post, but it's too bad
it's not 300 pages long"? Then you should totally buy my novel, Mercury Falls!
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Things have been so insane at work that I haven't done one of these for a while. Sorry.First, you guys remember Doug from Taunt Vortex, previously one of the highest-ranking blogs on Humor-Blogs.com? Well, he's put blogging on hiatus, but he has star... [Read the full post]
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Do you find yourself thinking, "Sure, that was a pretty good post, but it's too bad
it's not 300 pages long"? Then you should totally buy my novel, Mercury Falls!
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What the hell, people?I leave for two weeks and everything goes to crap. First of all, I'm now number one on Humor-Blogs.com. I told you to not let me "fall too far down in the rankings" while I was gone, not to vote me into first place. How do yo... [Read the full post]
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Do you find yourself thinking, "Sure, that was a pretty good post, but it's too bad
it's not 300 pages long"? Then you should totally buy my novel, Mercury Falls!
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" title="Stumble it!">
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Logo™ said...Has anyone mentioned to you that loading your site takes like... 6 whole seconds? I
know that may not seem like much to most of the known world but I'm am
American, dang it. Why should I have to sit here for 6 seconds with
nothi... [Read the full post]
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Do you find yourself thinking, "Sure, that was a pretty good post, but it's too bad
it's not 300 pages long"? Then you should totally buy my novel, Mercury Falls!
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A few days ago I saw a guy on a motorcycle do a wheelie on the freeway. A wheelie. On the freeway.How badly mis-calibrated does your danger sense have to be before you start thinking that doing a wheelie on the 680 is a good idea? J... [Read the full post]
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Do you find yourself thinking, "Sure, that was a pretty good post, but it's too bad
it's not 300 pages long"? Then you should totally buy my novel, Mercury Falls!
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What has transpired thus far: For no apparent reason, when I was 17, my parents
decided to leave their ordinary middle class life in Grand Rapids,
Michigan to buy and run a motel in southern Florida. I was a small, dorky, unpopular kid ... [Read the full post]
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Do you find yourself thinking, "Sure, that was a pretty good post, but it's too bad
it's not 300 pages long"? Then you should totally buy my novel, Mercury Falls!
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What has transpired thus far: For no apparent reason, my parents decided to leave their ordinary middle class life in Grand Rapids, Michigan to buy and run a motel in southern Florida. I was seventeen years old. You can read Part On... [Read the full post]
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Do you find yourself thinking, "Sure, that was a pretty good post, but it's too bad
it's not 300 pages long"? Then you should totally buy my novel, Mercury Falls!
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I've never told you guys the story of the year I spent in Florida. It was the worst year of my life, but that's not why I've avoided it until now. The problem is that to get a real feeling for the absolute horror and absurdity of my senio... [Read the full post]
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Do you find yourself thinking, "Sure, that was a pretty good post, but it's too bad
it's not 300 pages long"? Then you should totally buy my novel, Mercury Falls!
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Although I try to keep it a secret, it's possible that some of you have figured out that in addition to this fine blog, I also run a nifty little blog directory known as Humor-Blogs.com. Thanks to the support of a bunch of great bloggers, Humor-B... [Read the full post]
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Do you find yourself thinking, "Sure, that was a pretty good post, but it's too bad
it's not 300 pages long"? Then you should totally buy my novel, Mercury Falls!
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In the beginning, God created Earth 1.0.Earth 1.0, despite its rather limited feature set, was a huge hit, and soon God had to hire a CEO to manage the day to day business of Earth so that He could focus on the creative side of the business.The CEO, ... [Read the full post]
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Do you find yourself thinking, "Sure, that was a pretty good post, but it's too bad
it's not 300 pages long"? Then you should totally buy my novel, Mercury Falls!
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Fold My Laundry Please won this time around. FMLP, you may display the coveted In Your Face award.LeSombre came in a close second with:Diesel: "If this works, I'm positive you'll get a 3rd facial expression"Keanu: "..."And perennial favorite Brad to... [Read the full post]
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Do you find yourself thinking, "Sure, that was a pretty good post, but it's too bad
it's not 300 pages long"? Then you should totally buy my novel, Mercury Falls!
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A mother brings her son to the doctor. It seems that the boy has been acting strangely, and although he says he feels fine, the mother is concerned.The doctor, who is a very busy man, briefly looks over the boy. The boy is acting somewhat agitated ... [Read the full post]
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Do you find yourself thinking, "Sure, that was a pretty good post, but it's too bad
it's not 300 pages long"? Then you should totally buy my novel, Mercury Falls!
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Doug at Taunt Vortex wins this time around. Doug, you may display the coveted In Your Face award.Brad came in second with:"You can flex all you want, Jason. This picture is still gayer than nine picnics."And y not i placed once again, with:Frank: T... [Read the full post]
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Do you find yourself thinking, "Sure, that was a pretty good post, but it's too bad
it's not 300 pages long"? Then you should totally buy my novel, Mercury Falls!
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Hey folks,So I know I haven't been responding to comments or commenting on your blogs or blogging on your comments or clogging your bomments lately, but once again I've gotten super-busy.My goal was to get the Humor-Blogs.com changes done and finish ... [Read the full post]
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Do you find yourself thinking, "Sure, that was a pretty good post, but it's too bad
it's not 300 pages long"? Then you should totally buy my novel, Mercury Falls!
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My fellow Americans,Thank you for electing me to be your president. No really, thanks. Way to break your 220 year streak of electing old white guys. Super-impressive.Anyway, great to be here. I can't imagine anything more wonderful than being the... [Read the full post]
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Do you find yourself thinking, "Sure, that was a pretty good post, but it's too bad
it's not 300 pages long"? Then you should totally buy my novel, Mercury Falls!
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Welcome to this special edition of Mattress Police - Antisocial Commentary. Recently we have seen the dollar gaining on foreign currencies and gas prices falling sharply, while the economy grows at a rate of 3.9% and interest rates remain historical... [Read the full post]
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Do you find yourself thinking, "Sure, that was a pretty good post, but it's too bad
it's not 300 pages long"? Then you should totally buy my novel, Mercury Falls!
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Ok, the Humor-Blogs.com upgrade is finally done. I'll be working out a few more minor issues this weekend, but for the most part it's up and running. The new site features:Cool blog preview snapshotsWider range of blog feeds accepted, including Blo... [Read the full post]
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Do you find yourself thinking, "Sure, that was a pretty good post, but it's too bad
it's not 300 pages long"? Then you should totally buy my novel, Mercury Falls!
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Man, Paul Newman cannot take a joke. I guess I'd better hold off on that parody of Jeremiah Johnson that I was planning.I know, I was supposed to be done with the Humor-Blogs.com upgrade by now, but I had to delay the launch until tonight. What do ... [Read the full post]
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Do you find yourself thinking, "Sure, that was a pretty good post, but it's too bad
it's not 300 pages long"? Then you should totally buy my novel, Mercury Falls!
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While I'm on hiatus, working on the new version of Humor-Blogs.com, please enjoy this classic post from the Mattress Police archives.The Legend of DieselOk, so this is the first time I've ever felt the need to put a disclaimer in front of one of my p... [Read the full post]
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Do you find yourself thinking, "Sure, that was a pretty good post, but it's too bad
it's not 300 pages long"? Then you should totally buy my novel, Mercury Falls!
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