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Posts matching 'done'

Write the Novel You Want to Read, Part 2

In Part One of this series, I argued that the one indispensable ingredient to the success of a novel is enthusiasm. Before you can expect people to buy your book, they have to be excited about it, and to get them excited about it, you have to be exci... [Read the full post]


I'm busy, busy, dreadfully busy (much, much too busy for you)

Some of you may have heard that I have a new book out. As I learned from my experience with Mercury Falls, one of the most effective forms of marketing a book (assuming the book isn’t shite) is to offer free copies to reviewers. When I was getti... [Read the full post]


I'm Back

So this morning I got an email from my old pal Johnny Virgil at 15 Minute Lunch. It seems that some douchebag with a MySpace blog* has been stealing Johnny's posts. JV wanted to give me a heads-up that DMB** had appropriated some of my content as wel... [Read the full post]


Angels and Monkeys: My Conversation with Mark Rayner

As the MF'ing Blog Tour nears its end, I decided to do something a bit different today. What follows is a conversation I recently had with the author of the new novel Marvellous Hairy, Mark Rayner. As Mercury Falls and Marvellous Hairy are both ... [Read the full post]


I'm up at the Book Roast blog today!

Mercury Falls is being featured over at the Book Roast blog today! Read an excerpt and leave a comment for a chance to win a $15 Amazon gift certificate. And make sure to sign up for the Mercury Falls interest list when you're done.I inexplicably inj... [Read the full post]


Tuesday Shout-out

Things have been so insane at work that I haven't done one of these for a while. Sorry.First, you guys remember Doug from Taunt Vortex, previously one of the highest-ranking blogs on Humor-Blogs.com? Well, he's put blogging on hiatus, but he has star... [Read the full post]


"Follow Your Dreams" and Other Terrible Advice

What the hell, people?I leave for two weeks and everything goes to crap.  First of all, I'm now number one on Humor-Blogs.com.  I told you to not let me "fall too far down in the rankings" while I was gone, not to vote me into first place.  How do yo... [Read the full post]


MP Mailbag

Logo™ said...Has anyone mentioned to you that loading your site takes like... 6 whole seconds?  I know that may not seem like much to most of the known world but I'm am American, dang it. Why should I have to sit here for 6 seconds with nothi... [Read the full post]


A Vicious Cycle (of Brain Damage)

A few days ago I saw a guy on a motorcycle do a wheelie on the freeway.  A wheelie.  On the freeway.How badly mis-calibrated does your danger sense have to be before you start thinking that doing a wheelie on the 680 is a good idea?  J... [Read the full post]


Fear and Loathing in Punta Gorda, Part 3

What has transpired thus far:  For no apparent reason, when I was 17, my parents decided to leave their ordinary middle class life in Grand Rapids, Michigan to buy and run a motel in southern Florida.  I was a small, dorky, unpopular kid ... [Read the full post]


Fear and Loathing in Punta Gorda

What has transpired thus far:  For no apparent reason, my parents decided to leave their ordinary middle class life in Grand Rapids, Michigan to buy and run a motel in southern Florida.  I was seventeen years old.  You can read Part On... [Read the full post]


The Sunshine State (Part 1)

I've never told you guys the story of the year I spent in Florida.  It was the worst year of my life, but that's not why I've avoided it until now.  The problem is that to get a real feeling for the absolute horror and absurdity of my senio... [Read the full post]


Blogerella Unleashed!

Although I try to keep it a secret, it's possible that some of you have figured out that in addition to this fine blog, I also run a nifty little blog directory known as Humor-Blogs.com. Thanks to the support of a bunch of great bloggers, Humor-B... [Read the full post]


Low Hanging Fruit

In the beginning, God created Earth 1.0.Earth 1.0, despite its rather limited feature set, was a huge hit, and soon God had to hire a CEO to manage the day to day business of Earth so that He could focus on the creative side of the business.The CEO, ... [Read the full post]


Congrats to the Laundry Lady!

Fold My Laundry Please won this time around. FMLP, you may display the coveted In Your Face award.LeSombre came in a close second with:Diesel: "If this works, I'm positive you'll get a 3rd facial expression"Keanu: "..."And perennial favorite Brad to... [Read the full post]


Physician, Go F--- Thyself

A mother brings her son to the doctor. It seems that the boy has been acting strangely, and although he says he feels fine, the mother is concerned.The doctor, who is a very busy man, briefly looks over the boy. The boy is acting somewhat agitated ... [Read the full post]


Congrats, Taunt Guy!

Doug at Taunt Vortex wins this time around. Doug, you may display the coveted In Your Face award.Brad came in second with:"You can flex all you want, Jason. This picture is still gayer than nine picnics."And y not i placed once again, with:Frank: T... [Read the full post]


The Plot Lengthens

Hey folks,So I know I haven't been responding to comments or commenting on your blogs or blogging on your comments or clogging your bomments lately, but once again I've gotten super-busy.My goal was to get the Humor-Blogs.com changes done and finish ... [Read the full post]


Barack Obama's Inauguration Speech

My fellow Americans,Thank you for electing me to be your president. No really, thanks. Way to break your 220 year streak of electing old white guys. Super-impressive.Anyway, great to be here. I can't imagine anything more wonderful than being the... [Read the full post]


Hey, can I borrow $700 billion to reassure you that my finances are sound?

Welcome to this special edition of Mattress Police - Antisocial Commentary. Recently we have seen the dollar gaining on foreign currencies and gas prices falling sharply, while the economy grows at a rate of 3.9% and interest rates remain historical... [Read the full post]


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