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Hi. My name is Rob Kroese, AKA "Diesel." This is my blog. It has many words in it,
which are arranged in an intentionally amusing manner. I don't update it much any
more on account of IT WAS TAKING OVER MY LIFE. But hey, there's plenty of good
stuff in the archives. If you're new here, start with some of my Most Popular
Posts. And if you like that stuff, feel free to buy my novel. All proceeds go
toward proving to my junior high school teachers that I'm not a huge failure.
And if you're still not convinced, read a sample chapter here.
It's awesome.
Posts matching 'vote'
Bar-Ob promises "swift closure" of extradimensional prison.KRYPTONOPOLIS - Ratcheting up the rhetoric in the race for Supreme Leader of Krypton, Demokryptic candidate Bar-Ob has promised to "close once and for all" the controversial extradimensional ... [Read the full post]
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Do you find yourself thinking, "Sure, that was a pretty good post, but it's too bad
it's not 300 pages long"? Then you should totally buy my novel, Mercury Falls!
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CrummyJoel said..."I WANT THE NAMES OF EVERY F*CKING LITERARY AGENT YOU KNOW!!!"SushiBoy said...Diesel rants, "That's the last time you'll ever get in the way of my eff'ing shot, stupid robot of a lighting technician."Shelley said..."Now get up ... [Read the full post]
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Do you find yourself thinking, "Sure, that was a pretty good post, but it's too bad
it's not 300 pages long"? Then you should totally buy my novel, Mercury Falls!
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Howard Semones said..."Heh-heh. I told you Ron Howard's integrity was down there."
BRWombat said...The gang quickly tired of Diesel's constant, "Look out, it's the Pope!" jokes.
Aaron said...Tom Hanks: "Either the clues are getting a lot weirde... [Read the full post]
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Do you find yourself thinking, "Sure, that was a pretty good post, but it's too bad
it's not 300 pages long"? Then you should totally buy my novel, Mercury Falls!
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What the hell, people?I leave for two weeks and everything goes to crap. First of all, I'm now number one on Humor-Blogs.com. I told you to not let me "fall too far down in the rankings" while I was gone, not to vote me into first place. How do yo... [Read the full post]
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Do you find yourself thinking, "Sure, that was a pretty good post, but it's too bad
it's not 300 pages long"? Then you should totally buy my novel, Mercury Falls!
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" title="Stumble it!">
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Doug at Taunt Vortex
said...
"Righty-tighty, lefty-loosey," Diesel says, in an embarrassing attempt to impress his motorhead buddy.''ScottA
said...
"This wasn't what I meant when I said I wanted lubricate your crank"... [Read the full post]
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Do you find yourself thinking, "Sure, that was a pretty good post, but it's too bad
it's not 300 pages long"? Then you should totally buy my novel, Mercury Falls!
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MJ said...Diesel started wearing shorts after one too many comments about the effects of the "Intrinsic Field Subtractor." Raymond Betancourt said...Feeling a gloved hand caressing his backside, Diesel could only think to himself,"Be the chick...plea... [Read the full post]
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Do you find yourself thinking, "Sure, that was a pretty good post, but it's too bad
it's not 300 pages long"? Then you should totally buy my novel, Mercury Falls!
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"The law is a ass."- Mr. Bumble, in Charles Dickens' Oliver TwistYesterday, as I was driving into work, I had one of those ideas that reconfirmed my status as one of the great minds of our generation.The radio station I was listening to was giving aw... [Read the full post]
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Do you find yourself thinking, "Sure, that was a pretty good post, but it's too bad
it's not 300 pages long"? Then you should totally buy my novel, Mercury Falls!
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Doug at Taunt Vortex took top honors this week. That brings Doug's win count to 2. Watch out, Brad!heyjoe came in second with:Diesel: So what ever happened to just being "voted off" the island?And Raymond Betancourt and BRWombat were tied... [Read the full post]
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Do you find yourself thinking, "Sure, that was a pretty good post, but it's too bad
it's not 300 pages long"? Then you should totally buy my novel, Mercury Falls!
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Man, it was tough picking just ten this time, even without Brad playing. And seriously, what is the deal with the guy sleeping over there on the right? This is a promotional still for the movie. How does something like that get past... [Read the full post]
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Do you find yourself thinking, "Sure, that was a pretty good post, but it's too bad
it's not 300 pages long"? Then you should totally buy my novel, Mercury Falls!
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Most of you have probably fantasized at one point or other of
being me, and who can blame you? I have pretty much the best imaginable
life. I have a beautiful wife, two angelic children, a great job that I
only have to go to two days a week (and w... [Read the full post]
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Do you find yourself thinking, "Sure, that was a pretty good post, but it's too bad
it's not 300 pages long"? Then you should totally buy my novel, Mercury Falls!
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Shelley said..."Wow, you Sleestacks sure do have small wangs!"Raymond Betancourt said..."Well, as you can see I'm a superhero, not a doctor, but that looks infected."y not i said...Don't bug your eyes out at me like that. I know you two made that me... [Read the full post]
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Do you find yourself thinking, "Sure, that was a pretty good post, but it's too bad
it's not 300 pages long"? Then you should totally buy my novel, Mercury Falls!
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Mercury Falls is finished.
I spent two years on it, and it's finished. Months and months of writing, rewriting, thinking and rethinking, and it's finally finished. Hundreds of hours of wracking my brain over plot points, character development, a... [Read the full post]
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Do you find yourself thinking, "Sure, that was a pretty good post, but it's too bad
it's not 300 pages long"? Then you should totally buy my novel, Mercury Falls!
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I'm too wiped out this week to do a caption contest. But I would like your opinion on something.Long-time reader BRWombat recently left the following comment:While I like the new template and new look
for the site, something about your picture... [Read the full post]
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Do you find yourself thinking, "Sure, that was a pretty good post, but it's too bad
it's not 300 pages long"? Then you should totally buy my novel, Mercury Falls!
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Brad said..."Dammit Jim, I'm a poorly-dressed, part-time fisherman, not a doctor!"CrummyJoel said..."Diesel and Kumar go to a White Dwarf"Johnny Truant said..."Set phasers to SEXY!"Avitable said..."Diesel learns that the Vulcan death grip is actually... [Read the full post]
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Do you find yourself thinking, "Sure, that was a pretty good post, but it's too bad
it's not 300 pages long"? Then you should totally buy my novel, Mercury Falls!
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For a while now I've been noticing a steady stream of traffic to this site from the domain http://www.baidu.com. The site is entirely in Chinese, so I had a little trouble determining what it was exactly. This certainly isn't the first time that I'... [Read the full post]
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Do you find yourself thinking, "Sure, that was a pretty good post, but it's too bad
it's not 300 pages long"? Then you should totally buy my novel, Mercury Falls!
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One thing that I've learned over the last forty-seven years of blogging is that it's impossible to know what posts people are going to react positively to. Between you and me, I thought yesterday's post was hi-freaking-larious. I mean, Chyna peeing... [Read the full post]
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Do you find yourself thinking, "Sure, that was a pretty good post, but it's too bad
it's not 300 pages long"? Then you should totally buy my novel, Mercury Falls!
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Sorry for the late posting; I had a hell of a time picking ten this time around. It was tough enough just picking only one of Brad's captions.Brad said..."Felsen. Papier. Schere. GEHEN!"Howard Semones said..."Hmm, it says, 'Help! I've been kidnapped ... [Read the full post]
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Do you find yourself thinking, "Sure, that was a pretty good post, but it's too bad
it's not 300 pages long"? Then you should totally buy my novel, Mercury Falls!
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I don’t follow professional sports, but several years ago David Letterman had an interesting interview with a guy who was supposedly the worst basketball player in the NBA. I don’t know who decided he was the worst or how, but somebody on Letterman’... [Read the full post]
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Do you find yourself thinking, "Sure, that was a pretty good post, but it's too bad
it's not 300 pages long"? Then you should totally buy my novel, Mercury Falls!
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This humble blog is up for Best Humor Blog at the 2008 Weblog Awards. Currently I'm in 9th place, but do you know who else was in 9th place one week before the polls closed? RONALD REAGAN. True story.You can vote once per day, and I'm going to nee... [Read the full post]
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Do you find yourself thinking, "Sure, that was a pretty good post, but it's too bad
it's not 300 pages long"? Then you should totally buy my novel, Mercury Falls!
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I was reading the label on a bottle of ibuprofen yesterday, and noticed that it said, "If you consume more than three alcoholic beverages a day, you should ask a physician whether this product is right for you." What kind of advice is that? They sh... [Read the full post]
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Do you find yourself thinking, "Sure, that was a pretty good post, but it's too bad
it's not 300 pages long"? Then you should totally buy my novel, Mercury Falls!
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