About MattressPolice.com
Welcome to the World Headquarters of the Mattress Police!
This site is a repository of observations written and directed by Rob Kroese (aka Diesel), a poor sap trying to find his place in this mixed-up world. He lives in Ripon, California, and currently holds the position of Director of Application Development (read: glorified software developer) for a small company in the San Franciso Bay area. In his spare time, he enjoys building houses, writing, and talking about himself in the third person. He has a beautiful wife named Julia, who will be canonized shortly after her death (many years from now) for putting up with him, and two equally beautiful children. Inexplicably, he is the treasurer and a deacon for Immanuel Christian Reformed Church. He is also working on a master's degree in the humanities, because he was concerned that his BA in philosophy wasn't very practical. He dreams of amassing a fortune in the poultry industry, so that he can refer to himself as a "chick magnate."
He tries to update this site pretty much every day. He used to write political commentary, some of which is still available in the archives on the home page, but now he focuses on writing (hopefully) humorous material in the hopes of upping his readership to the low twenties. If you're really brave, slog through some of his interlectual writings in the essays section.
If you like this site and want to link to it, please feel free. If you let him know you've linked to Mattress Police and you , he'll check out your site and maybe even link back to it. Also feel free to drop him a note if you are a friend from college or one of his former teachers who wants an apology.
And if you're wondering where "Diesel" came from, you can read the whole story here (not for the faint of heart). You'll be sorry you asked.
By the way, the quote on the top of the page comes from the movie Fletch. Put it on the Underhills' bill.