Whoops!

A lot of people think I'm some kind of computer genius because I work at Google and run a couple of blog directories, Humor-Blogs.com and Blogerella. You'd be surprised how dense I can be about all this web development stuff though.

For example, did you guys know that some online communities have had problems with users scamming their voting systems? When I found that out, like, yesterday or whenever it was, I was all like "Hunh what?" because I didn't realize that was even POSSIBLE. And then I thought, "Well okay but you'd have to be some kind of HACKER GENIUS to pull off something like that." But you know what? I was WRONG. It's actually not even that hard. See, what some people do is sign up over and over, using a different email address each time, and then vote for their own stuff a whole bunch of times. CRAZY, huh? So it might look like a particular website is really popular, but in reality it's just the same person voting for it over and over. Doesn't that BLOW YOUR MIND? Yeah, it turns out that email addresses are FREE and they give them away to pretty much anyone! I had NO IDEA. But then I've only been doing web development for TWELVE YEARS.

So then I was all like "It's a good thing that Humor-Blogs.com and Blogerella are all made up of cool people who wouldn't try to take advantage of me and/or cheat their fellow bloggers!" Because, after all, whatever would I do if that sort of thing started happening? I mean, how do you stop something like that? I'm no match for that sort of HACKER GENIUS. First of all, how would you even know if it was happening? How could you tell if a bunch of different users were really just the same person logging in with a different email address? I mean, I suppose if they kept using the same computer, and that computer had some kind of unique identifier -- let's call it an IP address -- that you could retrieve, you might be able to figure it out, if you were REALLY SMART. But jeez, you'd have to write a script that would grab the IP address and store it EVERY TIME SOMEBODY VOTED FOR A POST.

Well, I don't know about you, but that sounds like a lot of work to me. To do that, you'd probably need some kind of CRYPTIC COMMANDS like:

strSQL = "INSERT INTO post_ratings (post_id, user_id, rating, user_ip) VALUES (" & intPostID & "," & Utils.GetCookieInt(Request, "UserID") & "," & intRating & ",'" & Request.ServerVariables("REMOTE_ADDR") & "')"
dbAccess.ExecSQL(strSQL)

I mean, who can make sense of THAT? It's like reading Phoenician or something. Somebody call John Travolta's character from Phenomenon; I'm in over my head! And not only that, but then you'd need to write some fancy schmancy SQL (is that even a word???) query to make sense of the data. I mean, if you were REALLY GOOD you could probably come up with something like:

SELECT user_ip FROM post_ratings GROUP BY user_ip HAVING COUNT(DISTINCT user_id) > 5

Now I'm no EXPERT, but I GUESS something like that would give you a list of all users who seem to be sharing a computer with more than FOUR OTHER USERS. Wow, that's a busy computer! I suppose that's the typical suburban household these days though, huh? Six people logging into the same computer in rapid succession, all to vote for their favorite blog on Humor-Blogs.com. So, you know, NOTHING SUSPICIOUS THERE.

There was even one household where there were at least TEN PEOPLE voting from the same computer. That must be a tightly knit family. I can imagine them sitting around the dinner table talking about their favorite blog, and how they love VOTING FOR IT OVER AND OVER AND OVER INSTEAD OF WORKING OR DOING THEIR HOMEWORK OR DOING SOMETHING ELSE MORE PRODUCTIVE.

Anyway, like I said, I'm just glad that I can rely on the HONOR SYSTEM, because I don't have time to deal with FRAUDULENT VOTING. I mean, this stuff just gets me ALL FRAZZLED. I freak out and just start pressing keys and pretty soon some of the blog scores get set back to ZERO! Man, I'm lucky I didn't DELETE THOSE BLOG ENTIRELY. There's not telling what might happen if I start mucking around in the database again.

To be honest, I'm not even sure which blogs I reset, so I'm not positive I could fix their scores even if I had that kind of brain power. So I'm REAL SORRY is yours is one of the blogs that got reset to zero. If you want, you can leave a comment on this post explaining that yours was one of the blogs that was able to inspire a whole clan of inbred mountain people to huddle around their one computer and vote for it over and over and over, and I'll see what I can do. I'm sure all of the other Humor-Blogs and Blogerella members would like to know what your secret is.

Otherwise, I guess you could consider this your chance to start over with a blank slate. It's up to you.

If you enjoyed this post, may I also recommend: Why Do You Do It? | Denial is One of the Symptoms Find more funny blogs at Humor-Blogs.com

Blogerella Redux

In my attempt to be excruciatingly clear in my post yesterday, I seem to have confused just about everyone. So let me try this again, with just the basic info.

I've launched a new blog directory called Blogerella. Unlike Humor-Blogs.com, Blogerella is for all kinds of blogs.

If you're already a member of Humor-Blogs.com, you don't have to sign up again. Your HB login will work with Blogerella.

If you have a blog listed on HB and you want that blog to show up on Blogerella, DON'T resubmit your blog. Just go to HB and click the checkbox on your blog settings that says "List this Blog on Blogerella." Please link to Blogerella from your blog before you do this.

Votes (smileys) in HB count in Blogerella and vice versa. You don't have to ask people to vote for your posts in both places. Your blog's score in Blogerella will be the same as your score in HB. You're welcome to display links to both sites in your posts, but they will both do the same thing.

If you're not a blogger, you're still encouraged to join Blogerella/HB so that you can vote for your favorite posts and support your favorite bloggers. Again, you only have to sign up in one place. Your user account will work on both sites.

Clear?

(By the way, feel free to practice smiley-giving by clicking on the smiley button at the bottom of this post. I've somehow fallen to #7 on HB and I can't get up. I know this post isn't particularly funny, but you can smiley me in anticipation of tomorrow's post, which is going to be HI-freaking-larious.)

Find more funny blogs at Humor-Blogs.com

Blogerella Unleashed!

Although I try to keep it a secret, it's possible that some of you have figured out that in addition to this fine blog, I also run a nifty little blog directory known as Humor-Blogs.com. Thanks to the support of a bunch of great bloggers, Humor-Blogs.com is now the number one directory of funny blogs on the web. As a result, our members get a lot of exposure from HB.

This is great for humor bloggers, but many of you have asked me, "Diesel, what about my stamp collecting/wine making/jihad-fomenting blog? Doesn't it deserve exposure too?"

Well of course it does. And that's why I'm launching a new blog directory called Blogerella. The layout and functionality of Blogerella may look suspiciously similar to Humor-Blogs.com, for the simple reason that it's basically the same site. The only difference between HB and Blogerella (besides Blogerella's funky new design) is that Blogerella is intended for ALL kinds of blogs, not just humor blogs.



Now some of you HB members are thinking, "Another blog directory? So now I have to sign up again, and enter all my blog information again, and remember yet another password?"

Nay, friend. The great thing about Blogerella is that because it shares the same platform as HB, your user account and blog information are already stored in Blogerella. You can log into Blogerella using the same username/password as you use for HB, and if you're already logged into HB, Blogerella will recognize you without you having to log in.

For HB members who want their blog to show up on Blogerella:

1. Add a link to Blogerella from your blog. Please.
2. Seriously. Just add a link to Blogerella to your blog template. It's not that hard. Don't make me reject you on a stupid technicality.
3. Once you have added a link to Blogerella on your blog, log into Humor-Blogs.com (or Blogerella) and edit your blog settings. At the very bottom of the form, you'll see a checkbox labeled "Display this blog on Blogerella." Check it and click Save Blog Settings.
4. If you haven't added a link to Blogerella from your blog yet, do it now. Seriously. You probably have a few minutes before I review your blog, see that there's no link, and have to kick your ass to the curb. Just do it.
5. If you've added a link to Blogerella, I'll review your blog and approve it. Your blog and posts will begin showing up on Blogerella.

So that's it. A simple five step process, three of which are adding a link on your blog to Blogerella. You've done that, right? Good.



For users who have a HB account but haven't added a blog:

If you've signed up for a HB account but haven't added your blog because it's not a humor blog, just log in to Blogerella and click "Add a Blog." Fill out the form and submit it. I'll review your blog and make sure you've added a link to Blogerella. You have, right? If so, I'll approve it. Your blog and posts will begin showing up on Blogerella.



For brand new users:

If you don't have a HB account, just go directly to Blogerella and click the Join tab at the top. You'll have to take a few seconds to create a user account and then provide your blog details. Make sure you add a link to Blogerella on your blog before submitting the form. I'll review your blog and make sure you've added a link to Blogerella. If so, I'll approve it. Your blog and posts will begin showing up on Blogerella.



For everybody else:

Not a blogger? That's cool. But if you've read this far, you are evidently a blog reader. Wouldn't you like to help your favorite bloggers, who toil in obscurity for your entertainment and edification, reach more readers? Of course you would. So here's what you do: Go to Blogerella (or Humor-Blogs.com) and click "Join." You can create a user account without adding a blog. It will seriously take you like 30 seconds. Once you've done that, you can give smileys to your favorite blogs. The more smileys a post gets, the more likely it is to be seen and read. Do it for the children. Do it now. Please.

And now, for those of you who can only digest information in a simple question-and-answer format, here is essentially the same information in a simple question-and-answer format:

Q. I'm already a HB member. Do I have to sign up again to be listed on Blogerella?
A. No. Just log in (to HB or Blogerella) and click the checkbox that says "List this blog on Blogerella." Make sure you link to Blogerella first.

Q. I already have a HB account, but I haven't added my blog because it isn't really a "humor blog." How can I add my blog?
A. Log in to HB or Blogerella, go to your user profile and click "Add Blog." Make sure you link to Blogerella before filling out the form.

Q. I don't have a blog. What can I do to help?
A. You can go to HB or Blogerella and click Join to create a user account. You don't have to add a blog. It takes like 30 seconds. Once you've created an account, you can give smileys to your favorite posts.

Q. Do my votes for posts on HB count in Blogerella (and vice versa)?
A. Yes. A vote is a vote is a vote. HB and Blogerella tabulate scores the same way, using the same vote totals. If a blog is listed on both HB and Blogerella, its score will always be the same in both places.

Q. Can I vote for a post in HB and then again in Blogerella?
A. No. As covered in the previous question, HB and Blogerella use the same vote pools. If you vote for a post in HB, you've already voted for it in Blogerella and vice versa. Your vote counts in both places.

Q. How do votes relate to "smileys"?
A vote is a smiley. A smiley is a vote. Same thing.

Q. In HB, a smiley means that I thought the post was funny. But blogerella isn't just for funny blogs. So what does a smiley mean in Blogerella?
A. Whatever you want it to mean. Basically it means you liked the post. Maybe you found it funny, or touching, or thought-provoking. Maybe you clicked on the button by accident. Who knows?

Q. What's the point? Why have two sites that do the same thing?
A. HB is solely for humor blogs. Blogerella is for any kind of blogs. Blogerella gives non-humor bloggers a chance to get some exposure. It also gives humor bloggers an additional means of exposure.

Q. How are you going to make sure that only humor blogs get listed on HB?
A. The same way I do now. Which is to say: I'm not. I just have to trust that people will use the site as intended. So far it seems to be working out okay.

Thanks for your support. If you have any other questions, feel free to submit them in the comments. I'll do my best to answer them.

Find more funny blogs at Humor-Blogs.com